A
male
age
41-50,
*ladd
writes:I met my wife six years ago, we started dating and our sexual life was great, she felt good and tight and was more active and I was told that sexually I was the first one..we then started a distance relationship like I was in another country and she was in another just emails and Skype for six years.. she admits having one other sexual partner apart from me during that time and that she bought a dildo but never inserted most of it coz it was bigger, now we got married and I notices that her vagina seems to gape and feels looser and now am afraid that maybe she was sexually active during the six years that we spent apart although she said she was not seeing anyone, I started ejaculating less sometimes coz I don't feel it the way it should be..the problem is that I can't tell her blatantly that this is what I feel even thou she asks me if am satisfied sexually bcoz I know it will cause problems..what can I do to know the truth, was she promiscuous while we had our distant affair ? did she use the toy more than what she told me ? is her vagina getting loose because of age ?
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male
reader, vladd +, writes (24 March 2013):
vladd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your responses, I have realized that the best thing to do is to let go off the thought of someone being in there and embrace love making as it is a connection between two lovers, I wasn't trying to put out a blame and what I know is that now she is with me and I know she enjoys sex with me more and she ain't going anywhere...Thanks Tisha-1 for your helpful links now I know whats really going on down there and its getting better and CindyCares I might be a man but I don't find my hand as good as a vagina so I would say that the girls I have been with maybe were not aroused much or just a little tighter and the time I met my wife she was young and a bit tight, I know that our frequency of sex also adds up to this but all in all am a happy man..Many thanks to you all
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 March 2013):
 http://men.webmd.com/guide/life-cycle-of-a-penis
As I keep on learning about things, it appears that your own sensitivity could be decreasing as well, due to aging.
I think CindyCares has raised a good point too, if you have relied on masturbation for the past 6 years then you are used to the feel of your hands which will naturally feel tighter than a lubricated aroused vagina.
Have you gained any weight?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 March 2013):
 Your first two hypothesis are, pardon me, ridicolous.
A vagina is one of the most elastic things you can imagine, it won't be stretched by intercourse, even tons of intercourse, or by insertion of toys, heck, it won't even be permanently stretched by childbirth in most cases, 6 months and all goes back to normal.
Age is a different thing, it does not happen to ALL women, and it does not cause dramatic changes, but yes, since with aging the general muscle tone slackens a bit, there may be some loss of tone in the pelvic floor / vaginal walls muscle, which may make a little, yet perceivable difference. Only, I don't think that would be the case in a woman your age or younger.
My guess , in fact, my two guesses would be : 1 ) that she is extremely aroused and extremely lubricated which is a good thing yet makes you miss a bit of friction 2 ) I don't want to sound irreverent, but, well, it's a possibility. If you have conducted a LDR for years, it is possible that in that period of time you have resorted to masturbation A LOT: So you have trained yourself to find normal, and respond to ,the stimulation of a tighter, stronger, firmer grip than any vagina, even that of a 15 y.o., can reproduce.
Anyway, whether the looseness is real or just perceived, no it won't possibly have anything to do with another penis, either in flesh or in plastic.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (15 March 2013):
 I don't think women who've had sex with various men necessarily have bugged vaginas than women with one partner. I'm assuming you are on the smaller side of penis sizes otherwise this wouldn't affect you till after she's had kids.
You could get her down to gym classes, mine always seem to be pushing the pelvic floor exercises!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 March 2013):
I would expect her vagina feels "looser" because she's well-lubricated and turned on enough to allow the vagina to do it's normal thing during arousal, which is to "balloon" and allow more room for the penis to enter.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201109/the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women
Another thing that happens to men as they age is that their penis shrinks a little, so you could be getting smaller without being aware of it.
http://kinseyconfidential.org/wifes-vagina-feels-loose/
I would say that unless you have other "clues" to her being unfaithful then just assume it's normal physiological changes over time and with arousal.
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