A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I am really unsure what to do about this crush I have.We both attend the same school, and share some classes now and then. We have always been on friendly terms. However, in the beginning when I barely knew her, she showed all the signs of being in love with my, but I am a slow starter, and really really shy when it comes to feelings. I have no problems whatsoever talking to girls, but talking to those that I like, is another story. Anyhow, she seemed to really like me and care for me, and she soon caught my interest. We talked a lot together and I started to really like her. However, she soon started to not respond, or respond extremely slowly, if I tried to chat with her online. Whenever we talked in person, we had absolutely no problems and got along just fine. I decided to ask her out, and she wanted to go as well. At this point we had been good friends for a months or two. The day after I had asked her out, she told me she had to decline because she had some family business to attend to (Family dinner/ birthday dinner). It seemed fair enough for me at the time, as we both agreed we would do it another time, and a few weeks later I tried asking her out again. Same story, she cancelled a few days later because of family business. This happened a few times, so at last I just gave up.I was still very interested in her, put mildly. By now she never responded to any kind of texts or chat online, and never initiated any, except if it was school-related. We kind of drifted away after the christmas break, as we had barely talked during the break. However, we were still very friendly when we spoke.Then we went on a study tour, where she returned to the friendliness of the first few months I knew her. We talked a lot and she seemed genuinely interested in me. There was an incident with a very drunken classmate of ours, whom happened to have hit his hand and bled quite a lot. He also started to threaten one of the other girls in my class. My friend/crush has a phobia against blood, and gets nauseous every time she sees blood, and almost fainted seeing his bleeding hand. Back at the hotel, she clinged to my presence (not me, sadly) and relied on me to calm her. As I am very shy around girls I like, I really felt as if I should have just held her dearly and tried to calm her that way, but instead I turned into this seething angry cold friend. I was so mad at the classmate for making her feel that way, and I couldn’t calm her as much as I wanted to...She told me about this trip she was planning the day afterwards, and basically invited me to come along, so I of course obliged, and we spent about 4 hours strolling around, looking at architecture, and having fun in each others company. She had been going on about finding this pancake place since we arrived, and since I had seen it I brought her there and bought us pancakes. Now that we’re back home, we talk quite a bit more than usual, and she still seems interested, even more than she lets show. I asked her about the photos we took on our little tour alone those days, as she took some of me, and we only had one camera, and I wanted to keep them as well. She did not respond, but today in class, she was sitting in front of me, I could see her writing and writing to me, but it wasn’t sent to me, so I am assuming she kept erasing it, as if she was unsure about her answer.I cannot stop thinking about her, and everytime I see her, I cannot stop smiling. We often have a lot of eye contact, and I feel that she is interested, even though she seems cold when I write..I just don’t know how to take the steps further.. I am afraid if I ask her out again, she will just cancel again..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2013): Sound like she cannot stop thinking about you either! If you see her writing stuff to you it probably means she doesnt want to say the wrong thing and either look stupid or upset you. I would take it as a compliement she cares, i think she likes you! But take it slow if your unsure
A
male
reader, deaf4eva +, writes (15 March 2013):
Ask your self this !why she cancelled on you ?
Once is OK. Maybe her story about having family business or a busy schedule is true, a girl is going to find a way to go out with a guy she’s interested in like you said you spent the day together and shared pancakes. I'm not saying that you need to give up on this girl some girls like to play hard to get but you may need to prepare yourself for an uphill struggle to win her affection.
my advice when your talking drop suttle hints like " i really fancy some pancakes is that place still open ?"
go from there keep testing the water and once you get he green lights go and ask
hope this helps.
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