A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why is my husband texting another woman? I looked at his phone and he has texed a lot to lots of people that he works for because he is in charge of training for his company. Most of the people are people that are on his same level in the company and it seems to be harmless texting. However there is a women that he met about a year ago that he has no reason to be texting. He trains about a thousand employees a year and rarely text them except her his emails date back to after he first trained her but were very rare, maybe once a month. He is now texting her almost everyday several times a day and he call her about once every couple of weeks. He always initaites the texting but she always responds. They seem to have common interest and read the same books. Theyn have a flirty undertone in their messages but he never tells her he cares for her or that she is attractive. Just sometimes suggestive stuff. She does not live in the same state as us. I dont want to confront him if there Is nothing to it. He is alone a lot with his job but he is extremely friendly and out going. I think that he might just be friends because we have a great relationship and have 3 kids.what is evryones thoughts? Is interested in more with her. It hurts because I can't really rationalize his behavior.
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Your bedroom habits have nothing to do with your husband texting another woman, that is just simply retarded....he's just as responsible for keeping it interesting if not more so than you are. It is not your adequacy in the bedroom that is leading to him cheating or texting another woman. He does it because he can get away with it and he is not commited to your relationship, he isn't behaving as a person worthy of love.
He needs a kick in the ass.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Do you guys have interesting intercourse,or has it become a routine?
Being a good mother to your kids and an interesting person do make him respect you but not WANT you.
I have a feeling you guys aren't putting much effort in the bedroom anymore.
He could be seeking an innocent flirt because of that.
Since your husband is so friendly and outgoing,i think that if he wanted to take things further with his woman he would already had said something to make his intentions clear.
His texts are friendly.
However,what if he deletes any other texts? and why would he call her? texting someone you know out of boredom is one thing,but calling them might suggest you do like that person.
unless they discuss business.
I suggest you give it some time. Your man is a smart one and if he wants to hide something,i believe he's able to.
Keep checking his phone,and spice up your sex life a bit. Dont do anything outrageous...but DO Show him hes still very desirable to you...Observe his behavior during sex and after.
if it remains the same, tell him the intimacy between you isnt the same anymore....wait for his response then a few mins later ask him if something happened that affects his behavior.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Well its easy to see that your husband is a very social person due to his work. If there is no immediate alert that he is being flirty or secretive then am sure he is just being friendly to this woman.
Yet if it is causing you concern and you feel threatened then tell him, just ask him calmly why he is keeping in contact with this woman and tell him you feel a little bit scared that he likes her and is unhappy with you at the moment. Just be honest with him its the best way, dont shout or accuse him of anything just ask him calmly what the story is.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 October 2010):
I think you have every reason and right to be worried. It is your job to protect your relationship. It could be that he is friends with this woman, but it really is more likely that he harbors a crush for her and needs the ego stroking that she provides. He may be feeling a little bored, or going through a mid life crisis sort of thing where he wonders if he still has it...can he attract and charm another woman.
I would show him this question and let him read the answers, tell him beforehand that you aren't feeling very loved right now that he would need to contact another woman outside of your relationship that you don't even know or are mutual friends with. Tell him to knock it off...or would he like to be single so he can do what ever with whomever he wants.
Ask him if he values you and your family, even if you think you know the answer, make him tell you what he thinks about it and then ask him how he feels. Try to understand what is going on with him and how he is feeling and what is lacking for him in his life that makes him want to fulfill his need for love an attention from this random out of state co worker?
Then digest what he has to say, repeat it back to him so that he knows you understood him and then tell him how it makes you feel, say it so that he can "hear" how he hurt you by doing this.
Don't buy into the notion that as a wife you have no right to say anthing about these texts or who he can contact, you have every right.
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