A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been together for 15 years. We have had our share of issues, as any other relationship, but nothing so serious we would consider separating. Recently, due to his work he had to move to another city while I stayed and continued my job in our original city. We decided aftr 8 months of this it was too hard on us to be so far apart. So, I quit my job and moved where he was. I never have been suspicious of him or checked up on him for anything. However, I recently came across an email(he left it open on the computer..I was not snooping)from a Urologists office about his upcoming appointment. I figured it was strange..why would he not tell me about it? I then found receipts from before I arrived here for an exam and numerous tests from Planned Parenthood. This all started me thinking that something was up as since I arrived we have not had actual intercourse...we would do other things, but not that. Honestly after 15 years I thought he was just being lazy and I was too. Like I said he has never given me reason to be suspicious of him...so I never have been. This has me worried, and I am planning to ask him about it, but don't want to be a raging crazy person about it...we have kids and I need to keep it calm. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): Thank You all for your responses...I apprieciate your insight.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2012): This is definitely a red flag.
If I found out my husband had been going to Planned Parenthood multiple times without telling me and if we had been physically apart for awhile (so birth control issues woudlnt' be due to what he and I were doing together) I would definitely suspect infidelity immediately.
I am guessing he had slept with someone and was getting tested for STDs or maybe paying for her to get the morning after pill or something else so she wouldnt' get pregnant.
if he was just having his annual medical checkup and the doctors found he needed to see a urologist then why did he also need to go to Planned Parenthood? Planned Parenthood is primarily about birth control.
How much were the Planned parenthood receipts for? Could you write down how much money he spent there, and call them up and ask them what those costs could correlate to?
I know people here are saying you should sit down with your husband and talk to him about your concerns. I say yes you should BUT if he has been sleeping with someone else do you really think he will be honest and tell you that when you're having this sit-down with him? he will probably lie so you need to find out as much as you can on your own first before you talk with him. That way, you can better know if his answers are not satisfactory. People who have been cheating rarely will voluntarily tell their spouse instead they will go to extreme lengths to cover it up unless they are painted into a corner and have no choice but to own up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2012): Firstly you are NOT crazy!!!
Any number of possibilities:
1. A STD
2. Planned Parenthood? Perhaps he got someone pregnant and then he decided to have a vasectomy. Snip snip!
3. A normal bladder infection
4. Routine medical check up
OP the fact that you quit your job and moved to where he is currently , with no welcome sex is a Red flag. Maybe he is waiting for some medical condition to clear up.
Instead of just writing down your concerns, why dont you write all your concerns and questions down (so that you dont forget them) AND THEN confront him. Print out the emails as proof.
Can you go with him to the doctor? Make a plan to go with and then verify that he is telling you the truth.
Very strange indeed. You need to confront him asap so that he doesnt get rid of email and or any medication. Check your bank account. Any hidden phone? Other private emails? I think once you start probing you may find out that your husband was leading a very carefree life away from you.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 That does seem odd doesn't it. I guess the only thing you can do is to sit down with him and ask him about what you have discovered...only he knows the answer and lets hope you know him well enough to recognise if he isn't telling you the truth.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (22 April 2012):
 My best advice for you and it works every time is set yourself some quiet time alone no interruptions and write your husband a letter tell him what tou found tell him everything. Ask him all you are needing to know. Then place it in a envelope put his name on it and place it where he will get it . Now go outside and sit or go for a walk and tell yourself to relax and keep calm. You should of felt a bit of relief writing it all done. Not only is there not going to be a screaming match he will read it all you didn't get flustered and interrupted whist trying to get your expressions out there there on paper . You are calm and wait for his reply .
Hope this helps best of luck
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