A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Recently my husband has been doing this thing where several times through out the day he gets me really excited. He will touch me in just the right places or whisper naughty things in my ear, and i love it. But just when i think it is or want it to lead to sex, he changes his mind. Like he'll go play some video games or say he's hungry and get some food, or if we're in bed he'll roll over and go to sleep. He's been doing that for over a week now and it never goes any further. I'm getting really frustrated and don't know what to think. I've tried taking to him, but it seems like everything i said went right over his head. I need help :/
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): Just tell him your not putting up with it any more.
It's controlling behaviour, and quite boring and miserable.
Why would he want make you confused, sad and frustrated?
Doesn't sound like much fun to me, .....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): This has happened to me so many times. On a number of occassions he has stated to me that he wants to make love to me tonight and then he doesn't follow through or forgets or gets tired. After that statement I am getting all ready and geared up and then...nothing. For me, don't make that sort of statement and then not do anything!
Or as you, he will touch me and then just walk away and I am left there thinking wth?
It got really bad...we were actually in the middle of doing it and he said stopped and said let's save and finish this later. Later never came.
Talk to him and ask him if there is a reason why he is doing this? You won't know unless you ask and point out his behavior to him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 I've done this to my hubby without meaning to.
Sadly my ADHD brain sometimes can't follow through....
you say you tried talking to him.... and it "went over his head"
that sounds like you didn't ASK him what's going on....
you just told him what's bothering you.
try asking him if he's even aware of what he's doing....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): I'm so sorry about that! I'm EXACTLY in the same situation.My boyfriend keeps saying sexual things, touching me, saying how hot I am and how he wants me so bad. I encourage, I grind on him, I kiss his neck.Then we get home, we have a snack, then watch a movie, then we go to sleep. We both sleep naked, and he doesn't even TRY anything.I've always been that kind of girl that can't really initiate sex (unsolved trust/self-esteem issues), but he told me he knows I'm always in the mood. When he initiates I NEVER EVER refuse, and once I'm into it, I do work it and we both have a great time (I'm what he calls a surprise po*nstar LOL).I'm afraid that if I ask him he'll just find it offensive. One time when this happened I casually asked him "so you where all excited, then we got home, you ate and went to sleep? Was it something I did?" to which he answered that he was very tired and when he ate, he just blacked out (a guy friend of mine told me that between being horny and tired, tired usually wins, so..) - but he looked somewhat ashamed or something.A friend of mine told me that maybe he's tired of initiating, so he's trying to see if I can do it. So I'm considering getting all my courage and do it. I won't even try to be romantic, I'll just jump on him. If he refuses, I'll be sad but at least I'll know that something's wrong and THERE I'll be forced to ask him.Anyways, I hope you can get through this. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (11 February 2013):
Hi there. Even though you have tried to talk to him about it, you need to try again.
Perhaps the very next time this happens - and he doesn't follow through with making love - just say to him - "why do you text me throughout the day every day, saying sexy things to me that turn me on, and then go to sleep or play computer games, when the time comes to follow through?"
And say then - "It's really annoying. If you don't intend making love after saying all that stuff to me, well then DON'T say it at all!"
And then see what he has to say for himself.
There really is nothing quite like the direct approach.
There seems to be no point in teasing you like that, as if he has intentions, when it apparently seems he has NONE!
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