A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girl is jealous of girls I talk to sometimes. The first day I get a web cam she's asking me if I'm gonna have live chats with other girls. She's jealous about anything stupid that involves another girl. I don't understand why. I've never been a flirt even before I met her. Since we got together which was a few years ago, she's been this way. Since I became her boyfriend a few years ago, she's broken up with me a few times. Everytime she broke up with me she bounced back really quick and went out with other guys. It hurt to have her be with some other guy kissing and hugging and holding hands and all that. I never went and found some other girl during that time. She came back to me and we got back together but then she broke up with me again and went out with another guy, actually two other guys. To know that she's doing anything with another guy really hurts. I never did that to her. A few months back I let her know i had a crush on a friend of mine(A crush for me doesn't mean I like someone it's just that I can't get them out of my head) but I have never done anything with her, ever! My girlfriend has talked about other guys, celebrity guys. It may not seem like a big deal but hearing my girlfriend talk about how "hot" or "cute" any other guy is, isn't exactly comforting. It hurts but I never did that to her ever.Why is she so jealous?!
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broke up, crush, flirt, got back together, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all, and yes I took her back this time. I use to let her walk all over me but I don't allow that anymore. I was thinking if she tries it again then I'm done. I love her but I'm not gonna spend my life repeating this cycle.
A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 September 2010):
 She definitely has issues with confidence. When she talks about other guys, or breaks up with you and goes out with someone else, it's likely just to get a reaction out of you and stroke her ego. When you show you're hurt by it, she gets an ego boost because it got a reaction that showed you still care for her. She doesn't seem very concerned about how that might affect you, though. It's an incredibly unhealthy pattern.
It might be best to end the relationship. She has a lot of growing up to do, and having you around to run back to every time will only make her think her actions have no effect or consequences.
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A
female
reader, FoX15 +, writes (16 September 2010):
She needs to gain self confidence. She may seem like she's really confident, secure, but she just needs self-reassurance. Obviously, you ain't doing it for her. She needs to work on herself. Like the other poster said, constantly having a guy in her life, showering her with affection, or knowing that can get other guys, is a way for her to make her feel better about herself.
You both need to end this relationship because you have already fallen into bad patterns, and its not healthy for either of you. If you have real feelings for one another, then that will show with time, but right now, shes got stuff to work with herself. People don't realize you can't be in a healthy relationship if you're not healthy yourself.
You seem like a solid guy, just let her go, and learn from it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet's get one thing straight I definitely do not let her walk all over me, I use to when we first got together but I'm done with that.
Why do I have a crush on another girl? I have no idea but I don't act on crushes and I never have. I made it clear that i don't like her and she moved away anyway.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Its probably nothing to do with you; its about the way this girl is dealing with her past. Does she have a past issue with guys who cheated on her? This could be a reason why she's always so insecure, and thats why she wants a lot of other men "in hand", so to speak. Seems like a deep-seated insecurity and emotional instability.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Why is she jealous? Insecurities or a fear of you moving on and finding someone better. This girl is one of those girls who have to have a guy in their life at all times. Always in need of a guy's affection or attention, it gives her momentary self confidence. Really judging from her irrational actions you should be the jealous one here.
Why do you have a crush on someone else when you have a girlfriend? And it's probably not a good idea that you tell her about it. I mean I see commenting on Ashton Kutcher's abs or hot sexy Megan Fox is, those are unattainable celebrities. But having a crush on a friend could potentially turn into something more. Truthfully, she is on again off again about you, and you crush on other women so this relationship probably isn't ideal for you. Might want to take a second look at it.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (16 September 2010):
My first girlfriend was extremely jealous. Turns out it was because she would not hesitate to fool around on me, behind my back or in front of my face. She had no concept of commitment so she assumed that no one else in the world did either, including me. She would also, like your girlfriend, carry on about celebrities she found attractive.You need to tell your girlfriend that it is not okay for her to question your commitment without any reason. Tell her that it is unattractive and disrespectful and you're not going to put up with it.In a nutshell, she assumes that you are like her: jealous, uncommitted, spiteful, and willing to drop you like a bad habit. Truthfully, the relationship is probably going nowhere, because you are far more mature than her, but if you man up and tell her you're not going to entertain her suspicions any more, it'll be the best thing you ever did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010): My 2 cents... I think your girlfriend is insecure and she's transferring the stress on to you. Come on now, you said that you guys just broke up and she's already bounced back to date/go out with other guys??? I guess she just thinks that she's complete when she's with someone and when she's with you, she's threatened by you being away from here and leaving her "not whole". She needs to work on that before starting relationships.
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