A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my best male friend who is gay (I'm straight female) has been going out with his boyfriend for a year. Alot of our friends don't like this boyfriend . Though he's pushed alot of my friend's friends away, he only seems to like me. I do find him attractive but I know he's gay and my friend's boyfriend so obviously nothing is to happen.I was confused as last night, we all came back from going out, drunk (they had had some cocaine also). I was in the bathroom looking in the mirror and my friend's boyfriend came in and kept going on about how I'm his best friend and he wanted me to know how much I mean to him (he does this often when drunk or high). I felt a bit uncomfortable as he held my hands because it was so over the top. The next thing I knew, he asked me to slap him in the face. I said 'what?'. He pointed to his face, waiting for me to do it. So I did, fairly lightly. He then asked me to do it harder, which I did and he gasped, eyes shut. What does it mean?Should have mentioned too:My friend was taking me to view a flat whereby the live in landlord was a property developer. I thought, 'oo, might be a looker!'. My friend's boyfriend (we'll call him 'John') joked that I'd have this old bloke perving over me. When I told him, well actually he's 30, he half laughed 'ohhhhhh, really! I want to come along!'. I said 'no' as it would be too much if all three of us went. He proceeded to lie on the couch and sulk. I was shocked at why he was being weird so I said 'come if you want'. He replied 'no, too late'. Why was he getting so irate? My friend just said he felt left out not being invited but is there more to it? Another gay friend of a friend told me that he is bisexual, but no-one else has ever said this and if he was, why pretend that he’s totally gay then?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): well you should talk things through with your gay friend
and how you feel stange around his partner.
If he doesnt listen to you then backoff and go off and mix with other people!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have been through a situation like the one you are in now
and its hard but the wright thing to do...........
from camoron masoci,
california
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks guys. All your advice is different but at the same time good explanations! Still not sure his weirdness only seems to be reserved for me compared to others. He's definitely an attention seeker but I can tell my friend finds it uncomfortable when his boyfriend gets all 'overly friendly' with me. So if he's uncomfortable, then I'VE got reason to feel uncomfortable too....
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A
male
reader, jkoh  +, writes (15 July 2008):
 The first time he was drunk, and people act realllly weird when they are drunk. The second time you told him not to come with u. He already knows he's not wanted, so how would he really have a good time with people who don't really want him there. I know this sounds babyish, but u probably hurt his feelings.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (14 July 2008):
 To me this sounds like a normal reaction a person would have in his situation.
I'll explain myself better here. Now, you said he was drunk and high and he asked you to slap him in the face. Well, many people who are drunk and high do very odd things that seem out of place of what they really are. I know someone who talked to her dishwasher while she was high. I know another girl who was dancing around and being extroverted when drunk while she's a very shy girl when normal. Remember that drugs and alcohol impair the mind to think straight and causes many to do foolish, weird things.
Now the way he talks to you, I head many people who consider themselves friends do this. I know many of my girl friends who treat me like their partner or even daughter, but I know it's just play and I go along with it. Also my friend's girlfriend (who's lesbian) tends to hug me a lot when I'm present, but I know for sure she is just friendly. So I really think he's just playing around with you since he already has said he considers you his good friend.
I hope this has helped you get another insight at your friend's boyfriend's attitude. I cannot guarantee you I'm right, but this is just my opinion due to my experience.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008): I don't think he likes you. I think hes just weird. People do all kinds of stuff when they're drunk for one, and he probably is just very over the top, 'OH.MY.GOD' kind of character.
Who knows why he doesn't pretend to be totally gay - who cares?! Its his problem, and not something to worry about. You have nothing to worry about.
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