A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My friends husband can be so cruel! she gets her hair done at a hair salon and he never compliments her. (others do)He also yells at her for the most silly reasons?Could he be disconnected as he wishes he were not married to her?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 I agree with CindyCares.
Not complimenting someone after a day at the salon is not cruel. Personally, I often prefer comments of any kind be kept to a minimum. And as has been pointed out, if it's pretty much the same style and she goes regularly, then what is there to say?
The man may have lost interest in the marriage, maybe he takes her for granted, or maybe he's simply at the end of his tether. There really isn't enough information for us to offer more than guesses.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 Who knows- we should be mind readers to be able to say what this man thinks about his marriage !
If I have just to venture a guess, I'd say probably not.
Not complimenting a wife for her hairdo is not "cruel" for most people. Men in general ( there are exceptions of course ) are rarely very attentive to hairstyles- they will notice a drastic change of colour, or a drastic cut- no more than that . They could not care less if you pass from " shatush " to " balayage " or from " Caramel " shade to " Amber "; they won't even notice if you don't tell them.
Plus, suppose this lady is regularly going to the salon, say, once a week, and always getting more or less the same style... what does she want, every week " ooooh you look so nice with your hair freshly styled "?! I'd guess that after 20 or 30 years of marriage , she would be sick and tired of hearing it all the times.
More troubling, definitely, is the husband's habit to yell at his wife for silly reasons- to YELL at his wife , full stop. Many women would not put up with being treated this way.
Then again, we really don't know enough to say something final.
Maybe that's just their dynamics , there's lots of old couples who have been bickering for the last 40 years yet they could not think of being apart. It's a kind of dynamics which personally I don't like, but there are people who actually thrive on it.
Maybe he has a short fuse and is quick to yelling- just to repent five minutes later , apologize and make himself forgivable in many other ways.
Maybe what for you it's a silly reason is actually something serious and hurtful in their eyes .
Maybe... he has been asking her ten times nicely to please do , or not do, X thing - and after being ignored 10 times, at the 11th he yells ( he should not, but he is only human ).
In short- I think that what you mention is not enough to conclude that he must be wishing he were not married to her. Then again, without any context, any background, we cannot offer you answers, only guesses- and your guess is as good as ours.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2016): Is disconnected a different word for abusive? It's hard to tell from one or two comments but you could support your friend and call him on his behaviour if he humiliates her in front of you.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (16 December 2016):
 How long have they been married? (I am guessing quite a while.) How does your friend feel about the way he treats her? Does she complain to you about him?
To be honest, he sounds either stressed out or depressed (or possibly both). However, if they have been married a long time, this is possibly just the way their relationship works. Unless she has asked for help/advice, you need to leave them to it.
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