A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dated this guy about three years ago. We had a great relationship when we were together, however, he kept going back and fourth between me and his ex whom he has a young son with and I was caught in the middle. It was a toxic cycle that I finally decided to let go of and ended up focusing on myself afterwards. I started a new hobby, changed my hair, lost a bunch of weight and ended up meeting my dream man whom I've been dating for almost two years now. I am very happy in our relationship and we're even speaking about marriage in the future. Two weeks ago, my ex messaged me on social media and said that he still thinks about me and the good times we had and still feels so guilty about everything (no surprise that him and his ex broke up shortly after he dumped me) I told him I hold no grudges and am really happy in my new relationship now, he says that he is ecstatic that I am doing really well and wants to be friends while respecting my new relationship. I told him that we can be civil towards each other but we are never going to be close friends because he broke my trust so many times. He said he understood completely and I thought that was that until he started replying to all of my posts online and asking me about day to day things and even hinted about meeting up with a group of friends. I'm not sure what to do with this. I am trying to be cordial but at the same time I don't want him to get the wrong idea. Is he being honest about wanting friendship or does he want me back?
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male
reader, kenny  +, writes (8 February 2023):
 I don't think there is any reason what so ever for you to still be in contact with him.
He messed you you around, you were caught up in his tangled web of mess with his ex and their child and as a consequence caused you a lot of stress.
There is a strong chance if you let him back into your life again nothing would have changed. You are happy now two years into a new relationship so there really is no reason to be conversing with the guy who messed you around.
My advice would be to delete/block him and put your energies into your current relationship.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 February 2023):
 "Is he being honest about wanting friendship or does he want me back?"
I doubt it.
You are probably not the only ex he is reaching out to in hopes that he can rekindle something.
I would honestly, just wish him well and tell him you don't see a point in any kind of "friendship" as he was NEVER your friend and you don't need a reminder of past crap he put you through, in your new life.
I just don't see the point. What would you even get out of this?
But you do you.
Is he "worth" making waves in your NEW good relationship? Because this "friendship" will probably cause friction at some point.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2023): If you are truly happy WHY are you posting here about some ex?
Forget about him!
Delete his contacts, block him or whatever.
Don't use "being cordial" as an excuse.
I'm not sure you yourself know what you think. read your post. You're contracdicting yourself sometimes in the same sentence!
You did not have a great relationship with someone who hadn't cleared things up with his ex. This is not by definition a great relationship.
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (7 February 2023):
I don't think he wants either. I think he's looking to fill a temporary void in his life. He's probably just broken up with someone or something like that. He's feeling a bit low and a good flirt (or whatever) fills that void for a bit.
It sounds like you've already said your piece about not holding grudges, being cordial, etc but not wanting to be "buddies". I don't think you have to say anymore.... Just block him from social media.
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