A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:We had a good relationship.he seemed super into me practically in love with me (calling 2x daily/wanting to see me daily).We ended on a sour note because he flaked on plans + didnt return my calls/msgs.after i wrote a lengthy email pouring my heart out calling him selfish/coward etc )i thought he was silently breakin up w/ me because he had ignored me - so i broke up w/ him via voicemail and then wrote the lengthy email.He wrote me right away and claims he was super busy and got upset with me and said he was hoping id chill out but i didnt and fyi next time chill out! I apologized for the name calling,explained why i felt the way i did but also said id like to be in good terms/even start over if possible.Overall I felt bad and now he wont talk to me.I told him I miss his company and talking to him, I also hoped things were going well with him (hes goin thru a custody battle, moving and tryin to purchase a car).I feel i was partially right for being upset over the fact he didnt return my calls or for not apologizing for flaking on our plans but I shouldnt have called him names aswell. Anyhoo.. i feel hes ignoring me. I also said in an email that i hope he doesnt hate me because i have no bad feelings for him and I definitely dont hate him.I sent this in an E-card and he read it.(I mean an Ecard isnt something quick.. you open the email, you clink the link..wait for it to load/read it). I just dont understand how someone could go from being all about me to being so busy or staying angry at me.I know he has other things to worry about/deal with but I want us to talk and I dont want him to hate me.I just feel if he hated me..why would he reply to my lengthy email after a bunch of msgs or emails..or why read my E-card - seems he would delete it instead.Do you think he hates me?
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (26 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou.:) yeah im fine w/ him not calling for 3 days in general..but considering he stood me up..that was unacceptable - considering its rude and he knew its my biggest pet peeve (even though i was nice about it at first).Im hoping he gets his shit straightened out, accepts my apology and we can be friends.I figured if he was soo mad at me or disliked me.. he wouldnt have read my card.. unfortunately he hasnt replied but i guess its expected w/ the fact hes currently busy. I just miss him is all.. kinda sucks.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 August 2010):
 Once I saw a male agony aunt say it's ok for a guy not to call you in a 3 day time period, they're busy. He flaked out on plans meaning he stood you up, no phone call nothing..Now that would've pissed me off, I feel you on that. That was very considerate of you to email him that..You seem like a very mature chick and that realized some of her mistakes, that my friend is not an easy thing to do. He would be stupid not be friends with you.
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (25 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI apologized for the name calling and i said i understood he has alot on his plate..
and i also said i hope things go well for him - custody battle etc..
the thing is with the calling.. i never asked him to call 2x a day or anything like that.he did it all on his own.Hes flaked maybe one other time if anything.. but i told him that flaking is my biggest pet peeve..i really didnt care if he canceled..as long as i had a reply.Instead he didnt return my calls this last time & even though i left a voicemail stating i was wondering what happened/concerned..(it was unlike him) he chose to ignore me..shit' an email wouldve been fine.if he wouldve done this..it never wouldve escalated to what it is now..which is me being upset & us broken up.I mean he had time to go online.. i even saw him online - which upset me even more.So obviously it turned out to be a crappy ending. Ive apologized for my part - saying that i am truly sorry for the crap ive said, that i didnt wanna break up..i was just upset & panicked among other things.I sat through a custody case the other day and i realized how crappy it is.. and i wrote him an email sayin i had sat through a case & that i hope his goes smoothly..if it hasnt already. I'm hoping we could be friends later..or atleast talk sometime later
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (25 August 2010):
Give the guy a break! He's going thru a custody battle, moving, and not to mention the fact for looking for a new car. Time is precious and sometimes I feel like there's never enough of it. This guy hasn't the time to give you your 2 phone calls a day, to hangout, much less to even wipe his ass. Instead, he's packing, unpacking, getting rid of stuff in the process, going to court, talking with his lawyer, going online to browse AutoTrader, going to dealerships, and not to mention all the stress he's going through on top of that. How many times did he flake out on plans, and the longest he went without a phone call or text? I'll side with you a little bit, yeah he could've sent you one text a day. However, could've been more considerate of what was on his plate. He replied to your email to state the obvious "chill out" which you still need to do. I don't believe he hates you but he's not going to have a chat with you anytime soon because he's still busy maybe when he gets things squared away. However, he doesn't owe you a chat, you broke it off due to your neediness. Try apologizing to him let him know you're sorry for being so needy, you could have been more considerate about him having a lot on his plate at the moment, maybe then you guys can be friends.
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