A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex messaged me 3 times this month. Him and have not spoken in months. The first, “ he asked if I had any plans for my birthday”A few days later, “Just Happy Birthday”A few days later again he said, “ I hope your taking care of yourself. I wish I could talk to you but I understand if that can’t happen. Have a great Holiday. Love Always!!!He is blocked on everything. He really broke my heart.He moved to another country. I asked him to leave me alone in the past. It’s not fair that he is messaging me it gives me mixed signals.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2019): It's very difficult to block someone entirely. There's always ways around it. The only thing you can do is ignore messages when they come. It must be very painful when they turn up but it won't happen forever. If you keep ignoring it, he'll give up eventually and you'll stop caring eventually too.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 December 2019):
 If his e-mails go to spam, LEAVE them be. Spam is the "trash folder" anyways.
If you can set your e-mail up to delete spam after 3 days or 5.
Most people don't check their spam folder. So maybe you need to make an effort to stop doing that too, OR... Change your e-mail address even if it is inconvenient.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2019): I am the person who wrote this!!!! I’ll He is blocked on everything he has my email! On my email he goes to spam I deleted an email because of him months ago. I tried to block him on email he just goes to spam I can’t help that!!!! I don’t want to delete another. Please post my response as I tried posting this after the first three comments!!!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 December 2019):
 I don't understand how your ex is able to contact you if you say he's blocked on everything. He's obviously not!
OP you have to remember that you can't control the other person but you certainly have full control over what YOU can do, think and feel. If you don't want to talk to him then just block him on whatever platform it is that he's contacting you.
He might be bored, he might be looking at just getting a reaction out of you, he might just be getting a kick out of disturbing you. I don't think you need to decipher the reason he's trying to talk to you; just block him, that's it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (16 December 2019):
 Quite obviously he is NOT "blocked on everything" if he is getting messages through to you. With all due respect, YOU appear to be the one who is sending mixed signals (possibly because you still hold out hope of some sort of a reconciliation).
If you really mean it that you don't want any more contact from him, block him on EVERYTHING. If he is still getting messages through to you somehow, IGNORE them. He will eventually get bored, especially if he doesn't know if you even got the messages.
I had a similar situation many years ago, before it was possible to "block" people with technology. I got endless messages on my phone answering machine, not to mention letters through my door and being stalked by the ex, with him turning up "by coincidence" at the same places I was at. I completely ignored everything and just kept saying "Go away. Leave me alone. We are over." It took a while but he got the message. They usually do in the end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): I blocked his number and on all social media. He has my email I blocked his email but he goes to my spam. I deleted one email already I don’t want to delete another that I’ve had for 8 years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): When you breakup with someone, they will test your resolve. They will pick and prod to see how much you mean it; and they will do everything they can to knock you off-track.
If you are the one who initiated the breakup; this is supposed to be his "remorseful" response. He's also searching for a weak-spot, to see if you're hurting for him. You hurt his pride by rejecting him. You proved your resolve by blocking him, and having nothing to do with him. That's an insult to his male-ego. Now comes the sweet-talk and apologetic-messages to confuse and confound you.
Remember why you broke-up? Then you're not confused!
This is a head-game to make you feel guilty and second-guess yourself. He's testing your strength. When people know you, they know which buttons to push. He doesn't have to mean anything he says. He just needs a way to regain control over your emotions.
Don't respond, stick to your guns, block whatever channel he used to get to you. Either you meant it when you broke-up, or you don't. The proof is in your actions.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (15 December 2019):
The signals aren’t mixed. You asked him to leave you alone because he broke your heart. You blocked him, which sends a clear message to him, yet he is obviously exploiting other channels to reach you. The signal he is sending is this: he wants to pick you up again when it suits him to feel good about himself. It’s apparently not important that you need complete separation to heal from the breakup. That’s very selfish. Continue to block and ignore him. That’s all a person who plays with someone’s emotions like this deserves.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 December 2019):
So if he is blocked... how does he message you?
I'd suggest you KEEP blocking him whenever he does find a "work-around" to your previous blocking and just keep doing so.
No, it's not fair that he keeps messaging you, but the thing is HE is thinking of HIMSELF, not you. He is contacting you because he feels bad about no longer having contact with you. And perhaps if he persists you will give in and GIVE him the attention HE wants.
It shouldn't really GIVE you mixed signals. You broke up, he broke you heart, you want NO contact, so keep blocking him and eventually he will hopefully leave you alone. YOU are DONE with the relationship, you say, SO BE DONE with him too. He can say all the "sweet" things he want but it doesn't CHANGE what he did to you, does it? Remember that. Keep blocking, deleting and keep NOT responding.
If not, consider changing your privacy settings on social media (if that is how he contact you) or your phone number (if he is texting) etc. MAKE it impossible for him to get hold of you.
Chin up.
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