A
female
age
41-50,
*cantgetoverhim
writes:This is a really long story. I feel very upset and confused. I don’t understand why I was treated this way. I feel worthless. I am 28 and my ex is 30. I always thought we will get married.My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. 2 months ago, we had a tiff over a small matter. He refused to drive me to meet his friends saying that he did not want to drive me back home as we live half an hour apart. He wanted me to drive on my own. We have been meeting only once per week and a lot of the time it’s with his friends. I thought we could spend more alone. I made my way there myself and I looked upset but was still talking to his friends. After the movie, I thought they were planning for supper but he said goodbye to me. I felt angry and went home.After this saga he ignored me and I started to contact him. He refused to reply my sms and calls. Later on he wrote me an email saying that I am immature and want to reconsider the relationship. I told him my reasons of wanting to spend more time together and he said he didn’t think my reasons were valid.I was very upset and sms him I want to talk. All he could reply me was TELL ME WHATS THERE TO TALK ABOUT and that he is disappointed with me. One week later I contacted one of his friends for help and his friend told me to move on, and that I will be better off without him. I sms him again asking whether he is seeing another girl. He replied no and that he does not know whether he want to be in this relationship anymore coz he has never been in such a situation, and not to force him further.I waited a few days before calling and sms him again. Once again no replies. I sms him several times telling him I do not want a break up. After a week he replied asking me to move on, to stop irritating him, and I forced him into this decision. I went down to his place to look for him.. How could he break up with me via email and sms. We did not even talk over the phone after the movie incident. All he did was ask me not to disturb him. I called his friend again, who said that he has been having one night stands once per week, had cheated on at least 2 of his previous girlfriends and that he was dating around 6 girls on and off while he was with me, and is seeing someone new already.I sms my ex to confront him and he said its all not true and its none of my business and I should respect his privacy. I told him off and stop replying to his sms. A few days later he started to sms me things like we are not suitable, I’m not sociable enough for him and he is in sales, he needs to bring his wife to meet clients during events. I am unable to integrate into his friends circle, and I will most probably keep quiet even if I were to meet his relatives. He also said that he hope I learn something from this relationship, like how he learnt to put up with me for my bad temper (I have argued with him a few times for meeting only once per week and its always with his friends. I broke down several times during such incidents and he said I am spoilt and he did not make me cry purposely)I ignored him for 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks, he emailed and also sms me from time to time on neutral topics. I told him to stop contacting me as I do not think we can remain as friends. He replied “is it that bad”? and continued to sms me sometimes. This continued for another 2 weeks and I started to think did I wrong him. I finally sms him and ask him for the truth. He told me he had offended the friend over work and he is just telling lies. He said he want to reconsider the relationship for 2 weeks. I told him it has already been more than a month and he should already have sufficient time. He replied that he gave up thinking coz he was angry that I rather trusted an outsider. During that 2 weeks I felt weird and went to investigate on this girl which his friend mentioned that he two-timed me with for a period of time. I found out that they were indeed seeing each other when he was with me and confronted him (everything is still via sms coz he simply refuse to answer my calls). He replied and told me I am getting on his nerves, he does not want to see me again, and I should stop contacting him. I went crazy and started to apologise for checking on him. A few days later the friend called and reprimanded me. He said my ex blamed him for betraying him, and that he has already bedded the girl almost a month ago and they are officially a couple. But my ex continued to send me sms on neutral things yet again. There was once I replied calling him the most evil bastard I have ever met. And he continued to sms me which I did not reply. And then he stopped.1 week after his last sms, his friend told me that he posted the pix of him and his new girlfriend in facebook (he blocked me from facebook after I confronted him).Why is he doing all these to me? Why did he tell me he wants 2 weeks to reconsider even after he has a new girlfriend and has already bedded her?
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a break, facebook, immature, move on, my ex, one night stand, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 I don't know if your ex will change for his new gf. I think people never really change "for" somebody : they only change for themselves, when they reach a point where they are sick and tired, or ashamed, or regretful for their own behaviour.
Don't think it did not work between you because you were not good enough for him, it's the opposite, it did not work because you were too good for him.
You were to good for condoning neglect and disrespect, you were too good for accepting just the crumbles of his time- you were too good for believing his lies, you were too good for being his doormat, you were too good for taking his prevarications lying down. Hence your arguments and your "bad temper ".
He can't handle that- because HE is not good enough. He needs someone foolish and insecure enough to put up meekly with all his crap.
A
female
reader, icantgetoverhim +, writes (23 May 2010):
icantgetoverhim is verified as being by the original poster of the questiondo people change after that meet the right person? maybe he will change for the girl and stop sleeping around..maybe they will even get married and have a great life ahead? does that mean that i am not good enough for him that is why he could not change for me? i just cant help but keep crying..
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (22 May 2010):
When he was dating you, he was cheating on you with 6 other girls.
Now that he has another gf, he will be cheating on her with 6 girls too. He just wanted to maintain his hold on you ,in case at some point he needed you to join the happy sextet.
"But he said that ..." "He told me that... " Why, are you still giving any consideration to what this guy says ? He is a liar,a big fat liar. He says whatever suits his moods, or plans.
Just be thanful that you got rid of him !
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