A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have a question I would like views on please. With regard to finding out that a person has been having affairs all their married life...........Why is it so wrong to tell someone that their partner is a lying, cheating so and so? Why is it OK to "mind your own business", when doing that means being complicit in someones lies, and those lies are affecting someones life choices? Most people think that if you tell someone the ugly truth about their partner somehow you're the bad guy. I see that as shooting the messenger. I also think that to help someone keep creepy secrets is really wrong and makes you just as bad as the person who's lying.....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): it is not wrong to tell someone that the rat (male/female) is cheating. i have said so previousl and a few select aunts have roasted me for that suggestion. its a pity my response to the select aunts are always blocked by the MODS (sorry MODS).When people on this site say its none of your business, it comes across as though there is actually honour between thieves. the posta are selectively blaocked so i think perhaps mostly the one saying turn a blind eye to the wrongdoing are only posted. (just my belief).i firmy believe in spilling the beans and yes, being the messenger. i have done it before, felt like shit , but if given the circumstances and opportunity , i will do so again. you see when we are wilfully blind it means that we condone the actions and we become party to the sh!t. we send out the wrong message and this message is taken as acceptance of the wrong act.so here i am screaming from any rooftop, condonig affairs/cheating/wrongdoing, advising people to continually lie and betray serves no purpose. it is merely the mistaken belief that the act is right and there is no accountability for ones actions.i know if my hb was cheating on me, i would want to know. no matter how hard/ hurt/ betrayed i will be, i will be glad that i have the truth. if i choose to stay in the marraige then i must be willing to work it out and put up with whatever sh1t surfaces. or i may choose to go my seperate way. either way, i would have chosen, having all the facts/information.
A
male
reader, burberrypie +, writes (22 September 2009):
Honestly?I have had to tell a few people about this.. and its never ended up good, infact I have then been hated as the messenger.But I still share the same view as "cheated" originally posted.. I think you need to weigh up the consequences of revealing this information to said person, its a thankless thing
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (22 September 2009):
 I think that it depends on your relationship with the person being cheated on. If you are very good friends then you should tell them that their partner is cheating. If however you hardly know this person then really you should mind your own business. Its a tough one and most of the time... the messenger will be shot! Relationships are complicated and people don't need the extra help of others getting involved. So like I said, its ok if you are great friends to get involved but otherwise... keep it to yourself!
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A
male
reader, cheated  +, writes (22 September 2009):
well personally l dont think it is wrong to tell someone. i found out my wife was cheating on me and to this day i thank the person who told me. i look at it this way, if l wasn't told then she could still be cheating and have taken me for everything i own. but i was told and i set the wheels in motion to protect my assets. i knew the person she was cheating with and i confronted him infront of his wife in the middle of our shopping plaza. made him look like a complete idiot. problem not fixed and this termite(home wrecker) no longer is my best friend.
if l found out about someone i knew cheating i would tell the other person.
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A
female
reader, mimisoph3  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 no its never ok to mind ur own business if people minded there own busininess then the world would be empty but wit alot of secrets people have held inside.
its not wrong if u feel like u gotta say it then do so.its better then let things build up inside of u non stop
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