A
female
age
51-59,
*harming Sunset
writes:I don't even know where to begin, but anyway!!!! A few years ago my husband left me because I was being a bitch. I was horrible (I don't know why... maybe hormones? Can't explain it) Anyway after he left me I realised what I'd done and what I'd lost. I begged for forgiveness and a chance to put things right. He came back and for 4 years I treated him like a king. Never again being mean in any way, just showing him all the love and respect I should off from day one. The out of the blue he tells me he just doesn't feel for me the way a husband should. That the last 4 years had been a lie. That him telling me everything was ok now was just him trying to get his feelings back. Anyway he left again for nearly a year, making my life a living hell. Basically treating me the way I treated him (Guess what goes around, really does come back around) I had the worst year of my life knowing I truly lost him for good and just couldn't accept it. But the fact he kept coming to my home everyday didn't help. Anyway after almost a year, again out of the blue he said he really hates being away from his family and has realised he has started to feel something for me again and that our family is worth fighting for. He came back and the 1st 3 days were ok, then he got really cold with me and said he'd realised he made a mistake coming back as he'snot 100% sure what he wants. It's been 5 months now and he won't even cuddle me. Whenever I speak it annoys him. This has made me a very insecure and weak person. I cry about everything and anything sets me off now. Which is making him resent me. How can I get stronger and stop doing things for attention? I find myself saying things for attention and I know these things annoy him, but I can't help myself. What should I do?
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female
reader, Charming Sunset +, writes (14 July 2011):
Charming Sunset is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2011): You have both made your mistakes and its time to make clear decisions and move on from them. In your shoes, I would sit him down and tell him that this 'being on the fence' business is hurtful and not sustainable and that he needs to either come home and be home OR leave. I know you love him but is it worth it to have a relationship with someone who is not sure what he want?
I hope that by giving it to him in a clear no BS way could help him make up his mind. DOn't accept being a stop over for decision making. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Lucky786 +, writes (10 July 2011):
 You're in a vicious circle here the harder you try the more he pulls away and the worse your anxiety becomes. I think your husband has made his feelings clear. Maybe you could try going to counselling? Either as a couple or on your own. It may help you to decide it's time to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): No man is worth putting this much effort into when he has made it clear you are not what he wants,it is time you started looking out for yourself and what life has to offer and end this sad life your living
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