A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: hi, so recently for the second time in a year the guy i was with decided to break it off because they were interested in another girl. they both claimed that they loved me then suddenly (out of the blue) it just stopped. both relationships were long distance, rarely seeing each other but when we did see each other it was always amazing, we could talk for hours (and we did) we used skype, and THEY were always the ones to suggest having the relationship in the first place. THEY were always the ones to say i love you first. but for some reason they both ended in similar/the same ways. the first went from a long happy conversation about what we were going to do the next time we saw each other to not answering any texts and ignoring me entirely until i got the point. the second just ended we had been talking just the other day about how much we loved each other then only a day later he told me straight up that there was someone else, and even though he loved me he didnt think it was fair to her. (the previous relationship i had, i found out later ended because he got back together with his ex) so my question is, am i doing something wrong? why is it that these guys love me at the beginning but always end up breaking up with me for another girl? is it me? or is it the guys im choosing?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit +, writes (6 January 2011):
It's LDRs. Very few of them work out because as humans, we need the close, physical contact, the sweet eye contact, the small touches and amazing kisses-those things build up on the emotional feelings of love we already have. For men especially, it's harder to maintain LDRs, we women can easily love a man for his mind and nothing more. We thrive on emotion and communication. Men are a bit more complex, love less easily and that's proven. They have less oxytocin, the chemical hormone that helps form attachments. Date someone closer to you :) What you've experienced happens in love, sometimes we're lucky and sometimes, things can't/don't work out. You're young, there's no rush, ok? Focus on friends, school and you may be surprised in finding someone amazing someday. Love is beautiful, but take your time, hon :) When you rush, you miss out. Think about getting dressed in a hurry or rushing through homework-is the result ever perfect? You don't need a bf to bring you joy :)
A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (6 January 2011):
well look around and check yourself...maybe you too clingly and being young he probably just seen another cute girl and left you. its not like you married to this person ...you are young boys come and go...and you will see that when you get older...dont get all caught up .....its not real right now....
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A
female
reader, bernergirl +, writes (6 January 2011):
Sweetie try not to take it personally right now. I know that is hard, but boys are simple individuals in this age...(Not much changes) guys are great but try and look at this time (in dating)as seeing what you want for the future. Be picky. Try to stay away from long distance, it is a lot for anyone to handle, but go to dances, movies, hang out, enjoy this time. As for these guys, they don't know what they're missing. Just tell yourself that there is something better for you and be patient. Do things for yourself and the guys will appear. Hope that helps some. Good Luck.
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