A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My name is Ryan and I'm wondering why it's so difficult for me to meet a woman from a dating site. I know they are being very careful cause of not knowing me well enough still I don't understand why so many of them are like thatAnother question I have is why do alot of women on dating sites ignore certain messages that men send them Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2015): Women tell me that most men on most dating sites are just looking for sex. I suspect a lot of women don't go on dating sites because of this. Back when I was single, I had similar issues with dating sites (few responses from women) even though I've been told by numerous women that I'm good looking. Also, I'm quite successful (I'm not trying to fondle my ego, I mention this because I think most dating sites are tough for most men) I tried logging on to one of the sites as a woman and searched the men just to see what I was up against in terms of competition. There were a huge number of men, and, if their profiles were to be believed, they were all millionaire male models who also loved kittens and long walks on the beach (when not flying around the world on their private jets).Ultimately, I did meet my wife through a dating site, but I consider it to be something of a fluke. Overall I had very little success with it. I was looking for a real relationship, and I attempted to be as open and honest about myself as possible because I was not interested in a short term relationship based on false representations about myself. I wouldn't spend too much time trying to figure out why dating sites suck for men. They just do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): Women are much pickier than men in general even when the ratio is 1:1 between them. (Some women might reject this idea but research totally confirms it.) When the environment becomes 8:1 then the average man's odds are pathetically bad.
Online dating also favors good looks much more than meeting in person. Like it or not, intentional or not, its just the nature of the technology.
If you are EXTREMELY good looking in photos, and if you put in enough effort not to seem totally creepy & impatient, then online dating can get you casual hookups all day long. But for most other men, and for most other purposes, the odds are too dismal to get excited about.
Put up a profile & check it regularly because its easy but don't get your hopes up.
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A
female
reader, peteloevely  +, writes (14 April 2015):
 unfortunately i think it becomes a fantastic source of attention for a lot of women.so taking in to account that men outnumber women, then take out those women who are only there to get their moral up, those who will naturally become overwhelmed with the insane amount of emails they will receive and will never be able to respond to you accordingly.and those that are not into you.however the number of women using online dating seems to be growing daily so the odds are in your favor.
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A
male
reader, mfj78 +, writes (14 April 2015):
Men outnumber women on dating sites by around 8:1. Women on those site will receive many messages from many men, with the majority being either rude, a clear an attempt at getting sex, a quick message that lacks personality or effort, cheesy or just weird. Women tend not to reply to most messages as they get so many. Often a polite "thanks but no thanks" message encourages a man to keep on massaging. Don't take it personally - its like applying for jobs, unless you say and dot he right thing you wont here back. As for meeting, most women will want to get to know you first for a period for maybe a few weeks before meeting up. Sadly a LOT of people on dating sites, of both sexes, have "issues", self control problems or are just plain weird. It can make a woman wary when she sees umpteen messages a day from men that are downright filth or quickly degenerate into "what you wearing hun? Why don't you slide your fingers into your..." Its not your fault some men behave that way but naturally it can make women, and indeed men, wary. Its the world we live in. If your serious then you need to, within reason, accept that. Push too much to meet too soon and its game over! As others have said can you offer examples of the kind of messages you are sending?Here are some (crap) message examples women get constantly:"Hi""hi hun""what you looking for?""You look well fit!""Do you like a man who can show a girl a great time ;-)" You get the picture. Creating an online dating personal profile is like writing a CV. Just as a good CV will create a good impression to a potential employer, so to a good online dating profile will create a good impression with the women on the site.Also your photo is important: a large percentage of men will have pictures of them flexing muscles, topless, at a urinal, posing in a car or in a club/bar with a bottle of bear in hand. Many women will be put off by the arrogant, "do you think i'm so hot" kind of images. How you initiate contact is also important. Never use terms such as babes, hun, sexy, etc. It wont work! Neither will just saying "hi". Your first message needs to be friendly and courteous. Mark
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (14 April 2015):
 You have already answer one of the most important reason why..."I know they are being very careful cause of not knowing me well enough" The way men treat women today...that is not surprising. Men have ruin it for themselves.Plus women have a something working of them a lot more than men do. It's called "intuition". You say the wrong thing, come on too strong, trying to get info too fast, or just seem desperate, like you are right now...and they will pick up on that, and leave you alone.You are dealing with a person that has their own feelings, mind, and ways of doing things. They are not something you walk into a store and pick up to take home.If women are not respond to you, then ask yourself "What am I doing wrong?"
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (14 April 2015):
 Honeypie makes some really good points.
Make sure the site you are on matches your motives for seeking a woman/women. If you're looking for a relationship on a casual hookup site you may not find many takers. Conversely, if you are on a relationship-oriented site and COMING ACROSS like you just want to get some action, most women will steer clear of that too.
Can you share a sample message with us? One that was sent and ignored? Without knowing how you're trying to start a conversation with these women it's hard to know what about the way you communicate with them may be turning them off.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2015):
 I think men going on a dating site will send out (fake number) 25 little messages in hopes to catch a few ladies interest, many women DO NOT send out as many and ONLY reply IF they are interested.
The WHOLE IDEA of online dating is THAT you don't HAVE to reply to EVERY single "poke""wave""wink" in your inbox. You can look THEM over BEFORE deciding if you feel interested or not.
I DO think it's caution that makes them more careful about WHO they reply too. Specially if they have had previous "dates" with guy who turned out to be married , have a GF or just looking for sex.
Judging from DC posts (not sure if there IS any truth to it) but... it seems like MORE men date multiple women in the "get to know you phase" than women do. They seem to stick with 1-2.
Maybe if you are NOT getting many of the women YOU are interested in to contact you... you need to do an overhaul of your profile. It might just be like Janniepeg pointed out, that the profile comes across as either too boring, to negative (think Eeyore) or too fake.
And it can also be the site itself. If it's KNOWN for not being a "serious" site you might have a harder time finding a "serious" girl. YOU might BE on the wrong site.
OR are you contacting women who are "too far" away to make dating possible?
I'd try with giving the profile a good look over. Is the photo of you resent? Is it a GOOD photo or are you doing the whole "back-lighting" so people can't really see your face, to look mysterious?
Do you talk about former relationships? (take that off), If you are still married but separated... (put that one, so a women doesn't get THAT surprise later on),
Do you LIST what you are looking for? (do you list like her height, weight, hair color) OR (do you list personality traits)? Because the FIRST one might NOT get as many "bites" as the latter.
Have you some of your hobbies listed?
Are their spelling mistakes? Are you using "text-speak" or English? Personally I can't stand people who use "r" instead of are - or "ic" instead of I see.
So go over the profile, maybe ASK a female/male friend or family member what they think. They might have something to add that you didn't consider.
http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/blogs/543390/15-ways-to-make-your-online-dating-profile-stand-out-from-the-pack-1.html
Maybe that can give you some good ideas?
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 April 2015):
 I didn't go into a dating site with fear and caution, and I don't think many women are. I ignore certain messages asking how I am and how my day was. I would check into their profiles and determine whether I am interested. If I answered every single message then I would be pressured to make conversations with them, then decline further if I found the one I want. It's courteous to say to people sorry I am not interested but to do this to several guys feel like a pain.
Messages that I don't ignore are those that I sense great potential and are serious. There will be people on there who are about fun and games but I always get good results from dating sites. A positive energy is a plus. It can be disheartening when no one talks to you but if women sense that you are pessimistic it's just going to make it worse. Creating a great profile is an art too.
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