A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been online dating + looking at online personals and I cannot believe how much most men online suck about age. I will be 25 in a couple of months + was shocked to see that there are tons of men in their 50s who specify they want women 18-25! I mean I knew that a lot of men like younger women but 50/55 year old dudes thinking a 26 year old or a 30 year old is too old for them wtf!? I get tons of 50 year old men sending me messages + while I am actually fairly open minded about age + think some men in their 40s are hot a man in his 50s is just TOO OLD for a 24 year old woman in my opinion. It grates on me that these men have put an expiry date on women when the ones who send me messages don't look too hot themseleves + are 30+ years older than me. Also why target such a specific narrow age group? At 18-25 most women are still finding themseleves +May not be aware of the mind games that SOME (not all I hasten to add) men play. It strikes me as a bit predatory like these men think very young women are easy to control. What is wrong with a woman 10 15 20 years younger or the same age who is attractive + in good shape why do they feel entitled to women only in their late teens + twenties? It irks me that in 10 years these men will think I am not good enough for them. Also what is with the age 25 limit, its not suddenly like I will suddenly start to sag and get wrinkles overnight at age 26. Surely not all middle agedmen over 50 think this? Judging by online dating my future looks very bleak as I will be judged at past it at age 35. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, spellcaster  +, writes (26 April 2013):
although i can understand that older men like younger women i cannot understand why? older women have more experience and most older women have done it and been through it lol i am 55 and never found a man on a dating site my age! they always in there 60+ or around the 20 to 30 age? all men seem to want is the sex? all i want is the company and the sex is a bonus? cant understand why same age is so hard!
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (30 January 2013):
Actually - I have never heard of older men being less able to produce "high quality offspring." It could be true, just never heard that conjecture, ever.
As far as older men and younger women, I have said this here before, but the basic drive is evolutionary. Men want to bear many children, women want someone to provide for her and her children. Women are more fertile then they are young. Men are better able to provide when they are older.
All that said, a 50 year old going for an 18 year old is more than a bit strange. The 1/2 plus 7 rule seems to work rather well, eg, in this case a 50 year old man should be courting no woman younger than 32.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2013): Guys that old looking for girls that young are serious losers. Goodness, those girls could be their daughters, and if a guy that old came creeping around my daughters that age, my circle of friends would put him in his place.
What could they possibly have in common? Nothing.
Having a girl that young feeds their low self-esteem and blows up their pathetic egos up like a balloon....and then they can't figure out why the relationships don't work out. Goes the other way too...young girls with low self-esteem and dependent on others will gravitate to a man like that to have the guy take care of them...it's a two way street.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2013): "Older men can usually still produce children."
but with an increased risk for said children to have genetic defects. Both men and women, once past young adulthood, will not be able to reproduce at all (in the case of women) or without producing as high-quality offspring (in the case of men). hey, we're not being politically correct here just honest, right?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): @ male anon: "Evolution just wants to produce children. It does not care about being fair to everyone or making happy relationships. (See: young fertile women are attracted to alpha male jerks usually a few years older.)"
and that is why most young women do not look twice at old men trying to flirt with them, because the old men are not as physically attractive and virile as younger men. since we're talking biological drives here and not political correctness, a typical young woman will want a man who is physically strong and thus a good protector and provider to her and her kids. A young man is thus a better catch than an old man who is over the hill.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): From an almost-sixty male: Guys my age looking for females 18-25 (or males that age, gay guys are even worse) don't find women their age unattractive, they worry that since they themselves are no longer young that means they are no longer handsome or attractive or sexy and worst of all, as their bodies age they must confront their lost youth, unfulfilled dreams, unrealized ambitions and worst of all, their pending physical decline and inevitable mortality. From my observation, guys looking for young chicks or twinks are self-absorbed, vain, insecure and not comfortable in their own skins. In their small minds, being seen in the company of a beautiful young woman is their way of telling the world their still virile and studly, that their balls still work and they can still get it up, and to that end there are a lot of ruthless amoral young'uns willing to further those delusions in exchange for cash and other considerations. Fact is most good catches between ages 40 and 60 are long taken, happy in long-term marriages, content with their lives and accepting of their ages and stages in life. Barring the occasional untimely spousal death or unanticipated no-fault divorce, there just aren't that many good guys over 50 available anywhere, especially online. I would guess the majority of guys trolling online are married guys looking to cheat as a misguided cure for a mid-life crisis. To summarize, it's not older guys dismissing females their age in favor of younger models, it's older guys driven by ego and vanity and (most of all) fear and insecurity driving to seek younger women (and men), and those who take up with older guys are usually looking to better themselves financially.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Older men can usually still produce children. Older women cannot produce children at all. Think about the implications of that.
What people find attractive is the product of evolution. Not political correctness. Evolution just wants to produce children. It does not care about being fair to everyone or making happy relationships. (See: young fertile women are attracted to alpha male jerks usually a few years older.)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Well you can do the same shallow thing back to the old farts who message you. Say you will only date a man who has 6-pack abs and a full head of hair and is a millionaire. That probably rules put most of the old farts and they get a taste of how it feels to be judged inadequate based on something superficial. However it is still within a guy's control to get 6-pack abs if he really wants to, and there are hair treatments for baldness. So the analogy isn't perfect because their criteria (age) isn't something that you can do anything about of you are past it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): 50 year old men who go online to find 18 year old girls are losers. They want young girls because that will make them feel young again or so they think. Or they are trying to boost their sagging self esteem by seeking a woman who is young and therefore immature and financially powerless so the man can be the dominant one in the relationship.
These men are not your type anyway. They are seeking only superficial sexual relationships so to maximize their bang for the buck they want as young women as possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): My now husband used to live with a group of divorced me in their 50's. They are sick - thats why I wrote what I wrote below. When they first met me, I had already heard that they were either dating asian women 20/30 years their junior or were on Eastern European websites trying to find 22 year old girls to marry. I'm Eastern European and when I came to visit my then boyfriend at his house - it was like entering a room full of dogs in heat. It was disgusting. It grossed me out how they talked to me in this sweet tone and watched my every move. Not until they saw that I don't put up with perverted old men, did their true colors come out - and the crude remarks about women. My husband would tell me about some of their conversations discussing wanting to 'bone young women' and how women their age are ugly. I stopped visiting all together as I got so uncomfortable.Sorry, this isn't men bashing, this is realty with some of these 50/60 year old men looking for young foreign/naive women. Its sick. There are no true intentions there except the lust for sex and an ego boost.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 January 2013):
 Well, that was a bit of brutal man bashing.
I'm over 45 and can't imagine dating someone under 35. There is a television character that is attractive to me who is 45-55. But, I know that I am not the norm. Men like women are influenced by the media pressure. They are overloaded with images of young women. So without really thinking about the possibilities they fill out the form with their fantasy instead of what they really desire.
Women have the same problem. Read the profiles. They all want to date a man over 5' 10" tall when they know that average height is 5' 9" so they are ruling out more than half of the men. Ruled out for an arbitrary image that is no indicator of what kind of value the person could bring to the relationship.
My advice is to ignore the arbitrary limits posted in profiles and find an honest person who is compatible with you. Realize that things like height, youth and a six figure salary are wonderful fantasies, in reality They have very little to do with what will make you happy.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): Because they are delirious that they can still attract a young girl. They dont realize that after hot 25 years old body who can possibly like their saggy wrinkley ones.
Many of them are completely out of shape that even 45 years old woman wouldnt look at them.
Ussualy these men end up alone. But there plenty of normal guys out there
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): I understand where you're coming from. I had an online dating account 5 years ago when I was 19, and I actually had some guy in 50s message me and told me I was very attractive, but admitted he thought "high school girls were the hottest". (Those were his exact words.) I couldn't believe it. I was 19, NINETEEN for heaven's sake, and that wasn't young enough for him.Anyway, my guess is the men that do this probably just want to feel young again. Maybe they feel they missed out when they were young, so now they're trying to make up for lost time. And they're guaranteed to find at least one young woman who will go along with it. The guy who sent me a message apparently was "the loser kid" in high school, and didn't get to date any high school girls then, so he was trying to feel better about himself by pretending he has a chance with them now. He also apparently felt better about himself when he talked down to any women who were older than 17, saying they'll never be as attractive. I recommend either trying a different site, one that allows you to block people of a certain age group from contacting you. I know some have that option. Young men contact you as well, right? Just respond to them and not the older ones.
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A
female
reader, yanna58 +, writes (28 January 2013):
Don't let these weirdos get to you. Women, like men, don't expire until they die. For the record, I have a male friend who has complained about the same scenario. He's only 26 and he keeps getting hit on by 40-something women on-line. My advice to you is the same as it was to him: IGNORE!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): Because many men are sick...especially those in their 50's. They tell themselves they look younger and deserve a young pretty thing. They ignore women their own age when they themselves are old farts. Don't even give these men the time of day. Its sick. I've even gone so far as to tell them that myself - what does a 50 year old want with a 24 year old? Youthful sex and control. Its a scenario only stupid women sign up for or those desperate enough.
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