A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi dear cupids, I am in a long-distance marriage. In the past 2 years I've managed to take a few months off my job in order to fly abroad and be with my husband- i didn't get paid during those months off, but I got to spend time with him which was priceless. This year, I am juggling with the idea of not taking those two months off beacuse:1) I don't like not being paid for two months2) the fact that I manage to get such a long time off might give my SO the idea that we do get to see each other after all and not try and end the distance soon.We manage to see each other every other weekend anyway, but those two months would be an extensive extra time just for the two of us. But, honestly, doesn't he get it too easy? We're planning on ending the distance in a year's time or so, but my husband is always pretty vague about the how and when of such thing. What should I do then? Take the months off and enjoy the time with him? Or give him a sign that he needs to move his butt and end the distance?Thank you! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): "But, honestly, doesn't he get it too easy?"Yes, that's why he's perfectly content for things to stay the way they are."We're planning on ending the distance in a year's time or so, but my husband is always pretty vague about the how and when of such thing."YOU'RE planning to end the distance; he's being vague because he's NOT planning to end the distance anytime soon, presumably because doing so would be at his inconvenience. "Or give him a sign that he needs to move his butt and end the distance?"Nothing you can do (or not do) to "give him a sign" to do anything he is not inclined to do otherwise. Given lack of background info, I can only assume that you entered into this sham "marriage" (married couples live together, that's the whole idea) under the same circumstances so therefore your "SO" continues to enjoy the benefits, advantages and conveniences of the arrangement for which he originally signed up.That would explain his continuing reluctance to make any major changes in the lifestyle to which he has become accustomed, such as actually living with and sharing his life with the now-occasional visiting sex partner who seems to be under the delusion that she's actually his wife.
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