A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How women out there,It's a bit of a mystery to me how to become a sexier guy. Do guys have to accept that it's a fact that, unless you're good looking and famous, you will only ever be hot in a niche kind of way (can't be hot to the majority)?Why is it difficult to become a hotter man? Or is it quite easy once you know how?If I were truly hot, yet not rich or famous, what percentage of women would show me sexual interest from afar? Just a question! I guess women who post naked/half naked pics online are interested in the same thing (same with some of those who go out in the same way).
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011):
I will tell you this much:
It is much easier to become a hotter man than it is to become a hotter woman.
Guys can change their wardrobe and hit the gym and instantly up their hot factor. A little career success helps even more. Women don't have a lot of options since so many men make judgements based on their figures which are hard to change without surgery.
So go hit the gym and buy some new clothes, man!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Women aren't like men. I don't know about those girls who put their pics on line, what is their intentions to accomplish by doing that, but we usually don't want just sex. This what majority of men think: how to get a hot girl for one night. This is probably what you are aiming for. That's why you are asking this question! Correct?
Then of course solely physical qualities come into play. Then you need to seriously hit the gym, spend money on your clothes and shoes, do something with your hair, and so on.
But if you are keeping in mind not just sex, believe me if there is nothing inside, your looks will mean nothing. For women other qualities mean much much more. Also don't forget the chemistry. You might be as handsome as Narcisus, but if theree is no attraction, there is no attraction.
I just went out with a guy. Good looking, tall, and felt nothing. He didn't know how to keep up a conversation, was very quiet, was biting his nails from time to time. When I said I d like to have a drink somewhere, said that he doesn't want any, but then realized his mistake,and said,well, if u want any, sure. Then he kept on saying weird things how I shouldn't be afraid of him, and kept reassuring me that I m beautiful. Well, I ve had enough, and told him, that I believe him, that I m beautiful, and want to go home.
Just an example on how looks mean nothing,if there is nothing more there.
When I was traveling, I met someone at the restaurant. He invited me on a date. First, nothing special, kind of short for my taste, doesn't speak English very well ( it was foreign country). O, well I said, I have nothing better to do that nite I ll go.
The minute he picked me up, it was perfect. He was all smiles, he asked me right away where I want to go, and if I'm hungry. We went to local bar, I met his friends.he was funny, talkative, attentive. He looked into my eyes all nite, said only once that I m beautiful.listened to all my stories, actively participating. Kissed my fingers at end of the night, and was all smiles, just happy to be with me that evening.paid for everything I ordered. Walked me to my hotel. Said: I want to stay,but I ll go if you want me to go.At that point I was completely in love.
He was excellent in bed, before and after, held me in his arms, ordered tea for me in a morning, said we ll see each other again, took my e-mail. Before he left, he told me how wonderful I was, kissed me again and again.
He may not be the hottest guy on earth, but for me that nite he was. So, go figure what hotness really means for us girls. Hope that will help.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (6 June 2011):
 You can't change how you look, beyond what you can achieve in a gym. Just like you do with women, women are going to have an initial attraction to 'hot' guys.
However, luckily for us guys, women tend to find a lot more things about guys as 'hot' than just their appearance.
Your confidence (not cockiness) will go far here. How you carry yourself, your comfort level while looking them in the eye. Also women are attracted to men who are successful. (Don't try to fake this, that won't work.) You don't need to be flashy, just successful. A sense of humor won't hurt you either. The more times you make her laugh, the more she will be thinking about you later. (damn, i wish i had that skill)
If you are just looking to score at the bar though, hit the gym.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (6 June 2011):
Hi there. We can't be all things to all people, it's just not possible.
We are all so different.
You can please a lot of people some of the time, but you can't please everyone all of the time.
If you try to do this, (to please everyone all the time), well then you aren't being true to yourself, because you're so busy trying to impress everyone else in the world that you're not pleasing yourself at all. In the end, a little voice inside your head is going to say to you - "what about me?" And you will be very unhappy and discontent.
The best advice is to just be yourself, do what makes you happy. Enjoy your life and have fun.
Make your life as interesting as it can be, see your friends and go out, start some hobbies.
And start believing in yourself, that you are already perfect and just as handsome as any other man out there. They are no better than you - they are equal to you.
In any case, you don't want every single woman on earth to be wanting to go out with you. There's not enough days in the week.
What's attractive in a man - as well as attractive in women - is self confidence and independence, plus a man who is his own person and knows what he wants from life.
Looks are only the first thing that makes a woman want to walk over and talk to you. Looks are very superficial and beyond the initial look from across a crowded room, there needs to be a whole lot more than just a handsome face and a good body. You do have to talk, so you also want to be interested and interesting. You want to make yourself nice to talk to.
There is so much to attraction between a man and a woman. It's not just the physical looks, it's also the personality, warmth, sense of humour, sincerity, and a feeling of being emotionally connected. These are the real glue that keeps two people together, and wanting to continue seeing each other.
You are already good enough. You are just trying too hard.
Best wishes and take care.
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