A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:With the proliferation and popularity these days of extreme hardcore porn much of which depicts violence towards women , do men still see women as worthwhile individuals or are we just sexual objects for their gratification?Although I understand people will claim porn to be fantasy . Why is it a fantasy to so many men to see women hurt and degraded ?
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male
reader, sleepwalker +, writes (21 April 2017):
Good question but an equally good one is "Why is it a sought after fantasy, that satisfies so many men, to want to watch their wives have sex with another man and even have them humiliate them and degrade them during a porn film?" And yet many of these same men who love this kink would be absolutely devastated if one day they would come home and finding their wives naked and having wild sex with a "stud"?
My personal answer is that SOME people (including women) are drawn to the forbidden but just like a moth is attracted to the light and heat that a candle or an incandescent light bulb put out but are not want to be burned by them. It seems for are much vaunted intelligence we humans are not so different from moths, are we?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2017): "Why do some men like seeing women degraded?"
Why do some women like seeing men degraded, or like using men for their money? Etc. In any group there are some messed up people. Its not the whole.
Porn brings some of the worst men out of the woodwork. Pro sports & celebrity groupies include some predatory manipulative women too. Men don't have the market cornered on bad character.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2017): As usual WiseOwle has given the best answer on behalf of all the men. I want to thank him for it. Majority of men abhore violence towards women and majority of men who watch porn would never pay to buy it. They watch only the free sites. Why they do? They do because they are visual creatures. They watch to titilate and masturbate when there is lack of the real thing. The extreme core which you mention are followed by a small weirdo minority who unfortunately are ready to pay for it and thus are sought after by the porn producers. They are the bread and butter of the producers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): Wise owl , yes people do seem to like violence but as so much research shows that men are overwhelmingly the MAIN consumers of porn and so much mainstream porn has violence towards women I was asking why so many men want to see violence against women Considering women are generally smaller , less physically strong than men , why is there such a demand where I look on a mainstreamPorn site and every second video is calling women horrible names or rough with her or demeaningSome will seek to blame women participating but again , I'm yet to meet even one female porn star . Not even a friend of a friend who is an actual porn star let alone one who want violence against her Yet when researches dough men who hasn't watched porn they were at a loss to find ANYIf you don't believe me do a little research You may say this is not a gender issue but it very much is . Men are overwhelmingly consumers of images where women are being degraded Sure not all porn shows that and not all men watch that ! But a LOT do My question was why do these men enjoy seeing women degraded Do many men secretly hate women or is this some payback for what is perceived as women having equality which men resent ?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): The content of porn reflects the people who make it, and the big fans who spend the most money buying it. It does not accurately reflect the average man.
Most men surf the easily available free porn. Smaller clips of whole videos, etc. They spend little or no money on porn so their influence on the content is not proportional.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): I think it's something that varies with different people. I love porn, I watch quite a bit of it, but humiliating and violent porn turns me off because I would never do that in real life. I like porn that helps me fantasize about things I do in real life but not always able to do. For example, I don't like group porn, gangbangs, interracial porn, lesbian porn, gay porn, or any porn where a woman is getting slapped in the face or performing oral sex until she throws up and her makeup is running down her face. It just completely turns me off. However, I think some people like that kind of stuff precisely because it's something they would never do in real life. I love pirate movies although I'll never be a pirate, for example. So while it doesn't excuse it or make it okay in my opinion (because I can't imaging the women in those films are enjoying it) I don't think it necessarily means anyone who likes to watch that kind of porn is a monster.With that being said, while I don't think watching porn is indicative of anyone being a monster, I do believe people who are monsters probably watch that type of porn. It's best to carefully evaluate anyone in your life in areas that don't involve pornography and if there are other signs of a dangerous personality, ALONG with a preference for violent pornography, run.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): There is a big difference between what one fantasizes about and what one would want in reality. This, many people would point out. I want to point out something else. There is further a big difference between what one fantasize about they themselves doing and what one fantasizes about or likes to watch others doing. In the former case there might be a small (though unlikely) chance of that person wanting to do it in real life. The latter is something that person never wants to do it themselves. For example, I like incest porn a lot.. like brother/sister, mother/son or father/daughter. But I can't even fantasize about me doing it. I find it very repulsive to even think about myself in such a situation. So why do I like that kind of porn? I am not fully sure but I think I am very much aroused by the idea of two people getting so horny and lust so much after each other that they are ready to do a most forbidden/taboo thing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 April 2017):
 I second, YouWish's suggest about
https://yourbrainonporn.com/
Read that.
It's pretty informative about how porn affects the brain.
I don't think that degrading women (or men) in porn means that every man who watches it WANTS to degrade women (or men) in reality.
When it comes to viewing harder stuff, I do think it comes over time, an escalation, a chase for a new high. The sooner YOUNG men (boys) start watching porn... the earlier they will find the harder stuff.
CULTURALLY there used to be a big difference in porn viewing habits but with the Internet, things have changed.
I do agree that I find it disturbing that the "if there is a demand for it there will be a supply" as the typical argument. I think that is one of the reasons for the rise in human sex trafficking and especially in children.
Unfortunately, there are NOT enough ways to SECURE what's put online and WHO can get access.
Also, let's not forget OUR own roles in this. Women (more so than men, I think) are not only raised to "accept" being a sexual object, encouraged to be one and I can't tell you how often I see posts on here from women who have sexual partner that DO things to them that they don't REALLY want, but they go along in order to keep peace and keep a partner.
(not that I'm blaming women here, mind you.)
We ALL need to SET boundaries as much as we CAN, STICK to them. Which means if you *general you* are dating a guy who starts being violent in the bedroom and YOU don't like that, you exit. I DO NOT subscribe to the " you should try everything once"... No. Trying things you MIGHT like is one thing but trying things that you feel goes against your sensitivities is NOT something I'd encourage.
I also think a lot of the "degrade" porn is an outlet for (especially) men who feel they hold no real "power" in life.
I play online MMO/RPG's and I have seen people make really hideous choices for "fun" or to create a character. And then you have others who play as good as they can get.
You ask what's the point of them? Hard to say, what is the point of gore movies? The Human Centipede? Saw? Etc?
My advice, find your own personal standards and stick to them. If you are against porn or violent porn I'm sure there are plenty of groups who work on trying to keep them away from the general population and maybe you can have your voice heard through that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2017): You are referring to a matter of taste and selection. There is a market for just about anything and everything. Unless you've taken a scientifically-proven survey to confirm such material is desired by a male-majority; you can't generalize or presume this is so strongly sought after by men who watch porn for entertainment.
Porn isn't for everyone; and opinions on what is violent and degrading to women is debatable and subjective. Some is blatantly obvious. Why would any woman subject herself to such a thing to earn money? All aren't forced to!
It comes down to opinion; considering like any movie containing gratuitous-violence; we know it's still fantasy.
How many men do you think prefer the type of porn you describe, besides those you may have met? They don't establish a demographic or prove a majority. There are bad people in the world, who like bad things. All people make terrible mistakes, but it doesn't make all people criminals.
Men who like deplorable and disgusting entertainment in the form of pornographic material are a sub-group. Like racists, criminals, and scam-artists. Some people are prone to addiction; and pornography is one of those habits that can become addictive. Sexual-addiction is created in the same center of the brain as all other addictions. Not all men who frequently watch porn are addicted to it.
There are always people out there searching for a market to sell "sh*t," and they find it.
It would be sexist and very cynical to assume that most men who watch porn desire porn that shows violence and degradation towards women. Porn can be selected according to fetish or sexual-orientation. Not everyone likes the same thing. Popularity and novelty wears-off on everything. A superstar can rise and fall at the whim of their fans. One minute everyone is killing themselves to seek a new fad, phone, or toy; the next minute nobody gives a hoot.
It's simply a weak argument to justify a personal distaste for porn, by throwing a blanket of inclusion over men. Implying it is in almost a predominant fantasy in men; is neither fair nor true. Everyone has a distinctive taste and choice about what they like to view.
I'm appalled at the explosive number of likes and viewings of horrible things posted on social media. Seems the audience is pretty widespread and diverse. There is a very general and greedy appetite for violence, degradation, and humiliation. Enough to go around for men, women, and children! You can actually tell by the numbers.
You can't pile all the blame on porn or assign it to any gender! People seem to like violence and degradation, period!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 April 2017):
 In many people who watch porn regularly and have become addicted to it, as with many other drugs like heroin, cocaine, or meth, the more the drug is used, the more desensitized the addict is, so it takes more and more and stronger drugs to try and reach the high that came so easily to newer drug users.
Not everyone who uses porn becomes addicted to it, just like not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes alcoholics, or someone who received morphine or prescription opiates become addicts. But some people do.
With porn addicts, the porn (and subsequent masturbation/orgasm) releases the "feel-good" chemicals that stimulate the brain's dopamine system, and with repetitive usage, the brain increases the amount of dopamine receptors, and eventually, the porn addict needs more and more and stronger porn to achieve that stimulation.
This has two side effects:
1. A porn addict often finds it either extremely difficult or even initially impossible to achieve arousal and orgasm through conventional means. This could mean anything from being unable to achieve orgasm through intercourse without porn, to even having a hard time with erectile dysfunction without having the artificial stimulatio of porn.
2. Conventional porn imagery (i.e. vanilla porn) stops arousing the addict sufficiently, so the addict seeks out stronger imagery, like she-males, dominance, BDSM, (things you're talking about), degradation, orgy, fetish, and so on. In extreme cases, usually involving an existing mental illness and doesn't happen in everyone who uses or even has become addicted to porn, a few turn to shock porn such as rape, snuff films, or underage involving simulated incest or molestation. A very few actually cross the unthinkable line to view ACTUAL child porn or actual extreme violence toward women or other men, or bestiality.
I want to be very clear - I am NOT insinuating or suggesting that everyone who uses porn regularly will eventually get to the point where their addiction steers them into victimization or child porn or bestiality.
However, a heavy addiction very often seeks out more extreme porn without crossing the unthinkable:
****WARNING**** Contains descriptions of extreme, but not illegal porn.
Hardcore porn like consenting 3 or 4-somes where 3 men penetrate one woman at the same time (mouth, vagina, anus) while others penetrate the men who are doing the penetration. BDSM or degradation, or tying up women or men with floggers or other implements of pain. In one case, I saw a porn video involving autoerotic asphyxiation (which had several "spotters" on-set) and was terrified for the guy who was simultaneously choking and self-pleasuring. VERY dangerous!
My point is - it's not just women who are hurt or degraded. Look up the site "Yourbrainonporn.com" to see scientifically what I have just described a bit simplistically, but it's all about stimulation. It really bothers me - porn that degrades ANYONE! I am afraid for young men and women whose introduction to porn isn't a Playboy, but a hardcore video, and they believe that this is the primary tool of sexual education.
Anyone on here reading Dearcupid who is young, NEVER EVER use porn as an educational tool! Not on your life!!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (14 April 2017):
 I can only liken this to men who constantly watch violent movies; most of them actually deplore violence and cruelty in real life.
Sadly I can make no suggestions on the way their brains work as, personally, I HATE violence of any sort and find violent movies completely unwatchable.
I think the problem (if you can term it that) occurs when men watch that type of porn and assume this is what women actually WANT. For any men reading, the vast majority of women find "porn sex" a complete turn-off. If that is what you have been doing to your latest squeeze and she has gone off sex, I can tell you EXACTLY why!
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