A
female
age
41-50,
*upidlover89
writes:Hello, I have been seeing this man for two years. We are not in a relationship. There have been many arguments about being together but we never do get commited. Recently we had another problem, and he expressed that he has been waiting for me to end things. I then backed off for a few days, and he has been calling and asking me to see him. I started seeing him and now the same behavior as before is happening again. Why would he be waiting for ME to end things? Why wouldn't he end things himself? Why ever time I back off he come chasing again? He gets very aggrivated when we talk about relationships and marriage, even when we are not talking about us. Please tell me why it is difficult for us to just stop? Can you help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 September 2013):
 Who cares why he does what he does.
why don't you end this game with him? why is it up to him to end what is clearly a bad fit for you?
some men just love the chase... once the chase is done they are done.
every time you "leave" it's a game to him... chase you till you come back.
how about you end it and don't go back...
folks want things over but they don't want to be the one to end it because they don't want to be the bad guy.
my ex husband did this... he SET it up so that the situation was intolerable and then he left and tried to make it my fault so our friends would "side" with him. He was shocked when they all said "you set this up to make her look like the bad guy but the break up is truly your fault no matter what she did"
doesn't matter in the long run... a dysfunctional relationship is just that... and we will hang on to any port in a storm. the problem is if you aren't alone after you end it with him, you will just be rebounding with a new guy and that's not good.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 September 2013):
 So end it? Then block his number and cut the contact 100% If you want to DATE a guy he is not it, you should know by now, so stop wasting you time on a guy why don't see you as GF material.
Why is it difficult to stop? Because, you two have spend the last 2 years building on this dysfunctional thing?, you both get something out of it?, you both hold out hope that the other person will change?, you both have fear of being alone? The familiarity holds it together?
Hard to say exactly why, I bet if you sat down and thought about it you would figure it out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2013): There are million reasons why some people are not meant to be. Some things are better left unspoken. it is what it is.
Its because you don't share the same views in life.
2 people who wants a different directions should just see each other in another life. No matter how much you wanted to be with him but its not working. If he wants you to end things, give him what he wants. you don't even need to say a word. Remember Silence means a thousand words. Do your self a favor, Don't speak to him again.
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A
female
reader, :)31215  +, writes (13 September 2013):
 You need to decide if you want to finish the relationship or not. If you want to finish the relationship you need to both cut contact. Sounds like you both don't really want to be together as you said you're always arguing.if he is waiting for you to end it, then end it. If he rings you again you tell him it's ended.if you want to be together you should probably have couples counselling. He seems to have commitment issues if he doesn't even like talking about weddings in general. It be he is just worried about commitment.
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