A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What should I do with my ex? I dated this guy who is 9 years older than me. He kept playing mind games with me throughout the time of us being together. He lied to me about his girlfriend saying they weren't really together when they were. Long story short I found out and less than two weeks later I started dating my current boyfriend. My ex came around a month later accusing me of cheating on him with my current guy but we were already broken up at that point. I told him I was willing to be friends but he wanted more. So I ignored him for several more months. He started to talk about us just hanging out just being friends so I was ok with the idea of it but since I've been working a lot and seeing my boyfriend every other weekend I don't have time to hang out with any friends much less him. When I explained why I couldn't hang out he started begging me to hang out with him. I told him there just wasn't time for me to. That when Im not working I just want to sleep or relax by myself. I know for a fact he's still with his girlfriend so to be begging for me is completely dumb. He said somethings that scared me like,"I just want to see your face, your eyes again. I can't quit you. I thought I can. I'm having a hard time doing it. You touched me where I feel it everyday. burn when I'm not with you. It really really sucks and it doesn't stop." He never talked like that in the past so Im confused as to what brought that on. I told him off saying he had his chance with me and he blew it. That Im sure he would find another girl and Im in love with my current guy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): update: Thank you guys for all your advice! I ended up listening to everyone of you and told him off for good. He tried chatting up with me one more time after me telling him how he missed me and me telling him I didn't have time for him. He tried talking to me on a text and I just told him I thought I already told him off. That I wanted him to stop texting me, calling me, and that I wasn't going to see him. He said he didn't believe it was me talking to him and when I ignored it he finally caught the hint. Its been weeks since I've talked to him and I don't plan on talking to him anytime soon or in the future.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): "I told him I was willing to be friends but he wanted more."
That was a mistake. Don't be friends with guys like this, they are trouble and are more than willing to do things to damage your relationships in order to help their position in life.
Is he a "friend to your relationship"? If the answer is "no", then put your relationship with him in a gunny sack with a bunch of rocks and toss it into the river of time as it flows to the past.
Clearly the answer is "no"....do you have a bag and a bunch of rocks and the will to use them?
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (11 February 2011):
This guy is obviously a player, and he's trying to manipulate a younger woman with lines that he doesn't really mean.
You did the right thing in moving on, and I suggest that you not even be friends with this guy. He's a user.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 he is on a power trip, its all a game to him, I don't understand why you want to be friends with him anyway, he has already proved himself a liar, do you really need him in your cicle of friends.
Its time to tell him the friendship has run its course, time for him to move on and form new friendships, tell him you are concentrating on your relationship and dont have time for him anymore, then dont answer any calls, or texts, or online messages. If you see him out and about, no need to ignore him, a polite "hiya" as you pass him by leaving him in your dust, as you move on with your life will be sufficient.
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A
female
reader, incendia1990 +, writes (10 February 2011):
 Let me tell you right now girl, you did the right thing. That is not a healthy relationship and the fact that you recognize that and keep it in mind is excellent and less than common. I have a few friends who would've/have gone back to people like that. Not worth it. That being said, this guy sounds like a player. He wants what he wants without issue and what he wants is to have his girlfriend as well as you on the side. Players are smooth talkers and will tell you everything and anything they think you want to hear. Its ok to stay friends with him, but if he can't respect the fact that you have a boyfriend, with whom you've stated your in love, nor the fact that you have to balance work and a boyfriend and just want time to yourself, its time to cut him loose from your life. You have a job, a boyfriend your in love with, and from the sound of it, a life heading in the right direction. Don't let him hold you back because you're too smart for that and he's not worth it. :)
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A
female
reader, angelalb +, writes (10 February 2011):
It sounds like he wants what he can't have. It also sounds like he is feeding you lines don't buy it. Tell your current boyfriend this guy is harassing you. He sounds like a loser. Good Luck Daniele
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