A
female
age
30-35,
*alalah123
writes:Ok so i ve been dealing with this one guy for about a year on and off,im 16 him 18. the whole time we have been attracted to each other. i mean off because we stopped talking for about 2 months, and when we restarted we were both happy about it. We are good friends now, we always hang out with each others friends and all that stuff, he calls me to come hang and vise versa. Each time we end up alone somewhere were gonna start making out like crazy, and stop after a while because i always say no to sex when it comes to him. Were extremely passionate about each other when it comes to physical. this summer he cheated on his girl with me, but it was nothing cause he was going to break up with her anyways. Now hes in a good relationship for about 2 weeks now, and we hooked up 2 days before he went out with her. Like always we both really wanted to have sex, but i wasnt going to do it unless we both put our feelings on an open platter, i told him i have feelings for him and he just stared at me, didnt say nothing and continued kissing me. After on text he apologized and said he should of been straight and tell me he doesnt have any feelings for me.Usually i would just say never mind all he wants was sex. but just yesterday we found ourselfs alone and he pinned me to a wall and came up to face but turned away saying he was joking, i wasnt so we went at it again. He claims he regrets it, but i know hell do it again.What im trying to ask is, if he claims to not have feelings for me, why does he always want to see me, always has to kiss me and if he says he loves his girl, why cheat on her. And its confirmed im the only one he gives in to. Whats this guys deal?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 His deal is that he has found an easy ,convenient way to get some extra sexual stimulation , and why would he give up to that , unless he is forced. He even told you he has no feelings for you, so he's also OK with his conscience, it's not like he is telling you lies.
Why does he say that he loves his gf than he does stuff with you ? Naive question : because he can. If we want elaborate a bit more, we can say a) that at your,and his, age "love" is a word that is often misinterpreted and overused b) that unluckily not all men are Sir Galahads and their ethics are not strong enough to shield them against temptations c) that most males are very capable of separating arousal from love feelings, and to live them independently, on two different tracks.
But, don't worry about what other people do, worry about what YOU do. I think the right question here is not " Why is he cheating on his gf ? " but " Why are you fooling around with a guy who already as a girflriend ?".
A
male
reader, mason361 +, writes (11 May 2011):
 Darlin, he wants sex. Plain and simple.
He sees you as an opportunity to have sex, and will spend as much time getting is as he can. If he cannot look you in the eyes and tell you he has feelings for you, then that is what he wants.
My suggestion, get away from him. Tell him he needs to bounce, get some other girl and leave you alone. You deserve better then this. You deserve a real relationship with someone to care about you. Someone to always be there for you.
Sir "Charming" you speak of, is not this man
The act of making love is too embrace and cherish the LOVE between two people by giving into each other. Without love, there is only heartbreak.
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