A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all..need a little advice..This guy I had been in a relationship has recently come on the scene, He basically moved away with work then met another girl, become engaged had a baby with her etc..He doesn't know I know all this. I found out via a friend Then last Sept out of the blue he came to my house after coming back in contact with me.Well the past couple of weekends/weeks he's been coming down more and more... to which I found out on this girls fb she's single so makes sense with all the turning up...He's very good with my daughter who he's known about for many years...My problem is even though I drop many hints about his child and asking if he's been with this girl he always denies any child or any other involvement with a girl.. He's also telling me he lives in one place but i know he still lives in same town as this girl..Why would he really deny having a child with the girl?? I've said many times I don't care he has a child with someone else but still ends up saying grrrrr no I don't.. I know I shouldn't trust him anymore, but more he comes down I like him, that extra bit more, just wish he would tell the truth. Has anyone else been in something like this it's really playing my head.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 Lying about a child is never a good sign. If you are completely sure he was engaged and the child was his then end things. I wouldn't trust someone like this. Stop fooling yourself in to thinking their must be some reason. Don't fall for him then regret it, this is a huge red flag. Stop inviting him down to your house and move on from him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2017): while there is often good reason to not share every personal detail about your past at the drop of a hat, this guy sounds like he either has something to hide or he's a compulsive liar. What worries me the most is I can see no reason for him to lie to you about these things- if you know he has a kid, an ex and lives in that place and you're ok with it, why would he need to pretend he doesn't?
I'd listen to your instincts this time, for sure.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (4 May 2017):
 Why do people ignore their gut instincts and try to convince themselves things are the way they WANT them to be rather than the way they really are?
Yes, you like this guy. He is probably working at being likeable. However, unless the baby you talk about isn't his (always a possibility I suppose), he is denying a big part of his life.
If you know FOR A FACT he is living in a different place to where he says, if you know FOR A FACT that this child is his, then he is telling you nothing but lies. Likeable as he may be in other ways, how will you ever know if you can believe anything he tells you?
Think carefully before getting into a relationship with this guy. It sounds like it would all be based on lies.
If the child is his, he should be helping to support it financially, emotionally and physically. If he doesn't then he is not a good human being and could leave you in the same position as this child's mother - literally holding the baby.
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