A
female
age
36-40,
*rage22
writes:Why would a man pull away just because the relationship can't go anywhere? Why can't he just live in the moment? I'm asking because if a man really likes a woman, how is it so easy for him to pull away? It seems backwards. If I really like someone, I want to be closer to them. He tells me he doesn't want to get too attached but I think it's too late for that. He tells me that I'm everything he wants in a woman but our careers and other factors make that not possible, I'm just trying to understand a man's mentality when it comes to a situation like this. Men seem to understand but as a woman, I do not. Can someone shed some light? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2017): I'm female and I had to leave a relationship because I knew it couldn't go anywhere and because I liked him a lot I had to leave because otherwise it hurt me too much. I wished I could have stayed and enjoyed it for what it was but in the end I couldn't. Men aren't all the same and neither are women.
A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (24 June 2017):
 When a man loves a woman or is committed to a woman he won't find excuses to not be in a relationship with her.
From the little that you wrote I think he does not see you as a long term partner. He probably has a list in his head of what he is looking for in a woman. You probably meet most of his expectations, but there is something important on his list that he does not see in you. It could range anywhere from your age to your goals in life. I don't think you should beat yourself up about it or try to change who you are to please him. He is just not the right man for you. Don't waste anymore time trying to convince him that you are the right woman for him. I would advise that you move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2017):
 Maybe he doesn't like you AS much as you think he does or he SAID he does?
Or maybe he likes you MORE and doesn't want to take it further and get hurt when it ends.
Not every man is up for a casual fling.
As for HIS specific reason? We can only guess unless you ASK him point blank, it will always be pure speculation and why waste time on that?
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A
female
reader, jrage22 +, writes (24 June 2017):
jrage22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno, he is not with anyone else. I'm not looking for advice, i just ant to understand how its easy for a man to pull away from a woman he really likes because of the fact that it wont go anywhere. since it cant go anywhere, why not just enjoy it for what it is? that is what i am trying to understand. for women it is different, they can know that same thing (the relationship not going anywhere) but still hold on to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2017): You can't force him to want what you want. If someone gives reasons they do don't want to be with you; that should be enough. Over-reasoning and pleading a care for himself is unnecessary. Just let him go, if that's what he wants.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2017): There is nothing wrong with living in the moment as you say.
It is just a matter of finding the right guy who wants to live in the moment with you.
There are plenty of them around.
This guy, however, is not one of them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 June 2017):
If nothing can/will come of it then WHY waste the time?
Most people who ARE looking for a partner are hoping to find a LONG TERM one. Not just a fling or "fun".
And those who ARE just looking for a fling or fun wouldn't back away.
Let me guess, one of the "other factors" is that either HE or you have a partner/spouse? If that is it, then he likely has a conscience and doesn't want to be YET another guy cheating. What's wrong in that?
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