A
female
age
41-50,
*anhvi
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been together with my partner for 6 years now.The problem is my man has gone off sex and I don’t know what to do about it. I have talked this through with him and he just says that it’s not important and he doesn’t feel like it at the moment. He even swore on his mom that there is no other girl in his life. Then how he has simply lost his sex drive. We are having sex 1ns in a year.it is since last 5 yrs and only when he want it and it does feel a bit awkward. Even if I try to get into him he gives excuses. I would like to be able to have sex at least 2 times a week, There is nothing else wrong in the relationship as we have talked about it, I just don’t know what to do, I am tired with sexless life and I don’t want to be in a sexless or nearly sexless one sided relationship, but I don’t want to leave him because has gone off sex, He isn’t worried about it as he says that it's not that important and that he loves me and nothing can change that. He does masturbate on his own and I know its not that, as he's always done this, he does fancy me and want to be with, he just simply doesn’t want sex.He's 34. Do men lose their sex drives? I want to know how to deal with this, as I feel that I'm now getting obsessed by him not wanting sex to the point where I'm getting upset that we are not having sex. It's almost like I'm letting that take over, getting the hump that we don’t have sex type thing and it's driving me nuts.Is it possible for a man to be without sex? Please help me.
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female
reader, Thibs2013  +, writes (29 October 2017):
I feel exactly what you're going through as me and my husband are pretty much in the same boat and I am constantly looking for answers and explanation and he tells me the same thing that he just has a low sex drive and whatnot but what I don't understand is if he has a low sex drive and we only have sex a few times a year then how are why does he have the desire or want or needs to look at porn monthly and sometimes weekly and at some points daily or even a few times in a day and then will pleasure himself while watching it alone. I mean he knows how much I love sex and everything that goes with it and nearly every time he pleasures himself or watches porn I'm only in the next room where he could easily invite me to join him but doesn't and I enjoy sex and everything entirely to much to live with my husband and have an almost nonexistent sex life. I have to have it and would love to have it a few times a week and not just a few times a year and I would never even think of cheating on him and yes there are toys but nothing compares to the real thing with your partner or spouse and in our situation it even gets to the point of an argument periodically so I feel exactly what you're going through and if you find answers or a solution I'd love to hear about it as I will do the same if you're interested in hearing about anything that might work for us when I find answers or a solution to deal with our situation. Good luck to both of us
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2017):
 I think he needs to go and get checked by his doctor to make sure everything is okay. It doesn't mean he is cheating but their could be other reasons for lack off sex drive.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 June 2017):
 Yes mken can lose their sex drives but it usually follows a problem with the prostate gland being in a bad way , For example; If a guy has undergone radiation for prostate cancer or has prostate cancer he may lose desire. Also a low level of testosterone can cause a dip in desire. The later is easily fixed by a urologist and a blood test. Get him to get checked out . It may be a minor dip in testosterone.no big problem. In the meantime relax, No pressure. that just aggravates the situation.
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