A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am goin to make this breif. I am going out of my mind at the minute! I am emotianally exhausted and I dont know what to do.Ok I was with my boyfiend for 10months and I split with him for many reasons. I was always making the effort, cooking meals and breakfats in bed for him, cute little presents, poems etc. But I never got anything back, just endless excuses why he couldnt see me, mood swings and lack of respect 9eg pulling my top down infront of all his friends on a night out...)He claimed to love me (but only when I said it first.) but I never quite believed it. so I ended things. he made NO effort to contact me following the brekaup and couldnt be arsed to pick up his stuff or anything. yet I found myself yearning for him and asking him to come back. so he did- reluctantly.Were supposed to be giving it another go, yet I cant shake off the feeling that he dosnt love me anymore and dosnt care (if he ever did). He wont look me in the eyes. hes come up with endless excuses why he cant see me and wont tell anyone he is back with me. he lies sto his mum about where he is going when he comes to see me. and he seems to have some ahem...problems getting erect when it comes to sex. It takes me alot to get him hard, not like before when all we had to do was the usual..basically, talking to him is impossible. he acts like a child being told off by a teacher, rolling his eyes and getting up and doing things when I am trying to talk to him. he wont listen and i get the feeling he tels me what I want to hear. why is he back with me and is this just a phase? Or did he never really care??? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 September 2010):
Have you got self esteem issues, or a lack of confidence. Because to take this guy back is a pretty bid red flag in your own life, and it needs to be solved. You need to ask yourself why you have taken back a guy who simply isn't interested. At all. Before you broke up, you were the one doing the running, the nice things, the cooking, the poems, the presents etc. He was the one doing bugger all.
Then you split up. Surprise, he didn't make any attempt to bother with you. He didn't even pick his stuff up.
Then, you called him back and he came back reluctantly! And guess what? He's not changed. He's still the same. He still won't listen, won't make an effort and won't care.
You've found a lemon! And I think rather than try to change him, rather than try to make him what you want him to be, and rather than continue with him, you need to address the problems in your life. You can't be happy at all with yourself if you're taking on a guy like this. You need to be single, working on your own life. You need to get away from this guy, and guys like him. Or your life will be spent acting as 'mother' to a bunch of losers.
A
female
reader, Tenacious  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 In his heart he is not back with you at all. He came back because it was easy, but he will not stay. You might as well for your own self-respect, break it off before he does. He is only going thru the motions and not doing a very good job at that.
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