A
female
age
30-35,
*annapao26
writes: So I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. He is 34 I'm 19. Another thing that I don't understand is that he likes dark skin girls but I'm light skin. He likes girls with a big butt and curvy but I have boobs and skinny. He likes girls with no tattoos but I have a medium size tattoo on my hip. I'm a really pretty girl but I'm the exact opposite of the type of girls he likes and he's always talking about how much he likes dark skin girl and I feel really bad because I'm the type of girl he likes. ( I have nothing against dark skin girl I just feel bad and it makes me question myself on why is he dating me then.)Why is he always saying that he likes dark skin girls when he's in a relationship with me and I'm not dark skin?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blackgoose +, writes (29 January 2011):
My boyfriend is a boobs freak. He loves those things more than sunshine. I am a very small B cup. Tiny compared to some of his past girlfriends. Yet here he is with me after all these years. I used to care and feel really self conscious, but there's no point, as if he was so determined to go out with someone with massive boobs he would still be out there looking. The guy is with you and that's all that matters. Feel good that you didn't have to fit into his warped-male-fetish-brain for him to love YOU! Oh and my boyfriend also has (dare I say HAD) a thing for blonde hair and white skin. I'm a brunette with dark skin. Gotta love it.
A
male
reader, rouge +, writes (27 January 2011):
Its nothing personaly to you. He is a guy and he will always be looking at other girls. Just be happy with him and enjoy it. If you really want you could start talking about how you like guys with this or that. Cheers ;)
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 January 2011):
you are the girl he likes and deep down in his heart he is very comfortable with you.
Lots of guy claim (fantasize?) that they love girls with really very big breasts. But in truth they rarely step out with such a girl.
Guys fantasize about all manner of things, you only have to see guys acting up at times when they are showing off.
Talk to your guy about all his comments. He's with you. He possibly has no idea how hurtful his fantasizing hurts you.
It may just be poor judgment on his part to talk (like a guy in a bar, after a few drinks), in front of you, in the way he does.
It may even indicate that he feels so comfortable with you that he can blurt out anything that is on his mind, in front of you.
But his comments would make one question if you are truly his 'first choice'. I think you are someone he trusts. But he has to show more consideration for your feelings and employ empathy as part of his communication style.
If he's not prepared to put you first, and consider your feelings, then you have a right to question his commitment to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 January 2011):
Overall, I think you're with the wrong guy. Maybe he's getting a thrill from being with a 19 year old, maybe he's trying to change you, maybe he's really that insensitive. But if you allow a man to start destroying your confidence now, you'll forever be in a cycle where you accept bad treatment.
We all have different tastes, things we like. But when you're with someone, you're supposed to rise above that and just love them. Your boyfriend sounds more like a teenage boy to be honest. I'm not sure you should really be with someone who is going to inevitably hurt you.
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