A
female
age
41-50,
*ynthia18222
writes: This is quite a confusing situation !!! I met this guy weve been hanging out for about 2 month there was a little drama in the begining but that is over now. And we are still hanging i asked him what was going on with us and he said im not seeing anyone and neither are you but this isnt anything serious however he acts like we are dating calls me babe all the time came to meet my brother and sister in law is coming to a wedding with me and wants a tie to match my dress always having me sleep over walks me to the door when i dont and kisses me goodbye there are kids involved on both ends prephs maybe this is why he doesnt wanna commit with the title of bf gf but i am so confused i havent called him all day and im backing off to let him miss me and maybe this will pop in his head but i dont know what to do :(
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female
reader, cynthia18222 +, writes (17 July 2013):
cynthia18222 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know i over think things thats my problem i dont wanna lose him because i do like him and we have such a good time hanging out together i think i do need to take a step back and relax i just dont want another chick coming along :( but he has told me he isnt seeing anyone else so i guess i should be ok
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2013):
so you two are dating but it's not serious. you have fun, he treats you nicely but it's not enough for you? you want a serious commitment after 2 months when there are children involved?
sounds to me like he's having fun and you're having fun...
it's a very short term relationship at this point and guess what a title MEANS nothing... it's just a word.
If you are confused, you are doing it to yourself.
if you can't sit back and relax and go with the flow then perhaps this is not the right man for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): I totally agree with CindyCares. It's a misconception that men treat women badly unless in a serious relationship. He enjoys your company so he treats you with affection. It is a human thing. I think women read into things to much and dont listen enough. If a man says it's nothing serious but then spoons you after sex... it does not mean it's serious. He is just living in the moment.I dont think he's being confusing. He has told you where he is in the relationship but that doesnt necessarily mean he cant see a future with you or is stringing you along. He is enjoying things the way they are and if they progress, they'll progress and if they dont, they dont. He hasnt given you a title ( girlfriend etc) therefore you arent. Which means although things may progress, he is basically also saying that if someone else comings along that catches his eye, it's not gonna be too big of a deal to break it off with you because he has already said from the start, 'its nothing serious'.Trust me though, a man would tell you straight up if you were a serious thing in his life and give you a title... without any excuses. He wouldnt say one thing and act another way
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (17 July 2013):
Well, you ARE dating, but it does not say anywhere that dating must be serious or committed or necessarily lead to the next level. It may also mean that two people enjoy each other 's body and company, show affection and hang out socially- for the time being, for as long as it lasts, which can be anything from very short to very long- but without the intention or the commitment to make it serious and/ or permanent.
From this point of view, I don't think he has been confusing, he has been pretty clear. He likes you and he likes having you around- for the moment. Until either one gets tired of the routine, or meets someone more interesting. Maybe he just can't see a future with you- or maybe, it is still so early , after 2 months, that he does not know yet ( fair enough ). So it's up to you if you want to hang in there a few months and see how things develop, or call it quits right now because of his lack of committment. But either way, ther's no need for confusion, just because he occasionally acts nice to the person he's going out with ( the opposite would be strange, if he NEVER was nice or affectionate ! ) - he told you clearly that as of now he sees this as a temporaray, recreational experience.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2013): I think he likes you. I think you need to chill out and go with the flow. He has said that he is not seeing anyone else. So there you go. He probably just does not want the 'label' of boyfriend. Just relax and enjoy it.
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