A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi!I wondered something while reading the questions and answers here...why do most answerers automatically say long distance relationships can't work and that the poster should go out and meet someone in there area.Thats not true,some LD's do work,thats not to say there's not challenges and problems with them (ie. extended periods apart..ect).I just feel it is unfair and kind of cruel to say that they don't work...I myself have seen 2 work out quite well as long as BOTH partners are committed.I've also seen members of my own family in LD's that worked out fine.Internet relationships are much the same...some DO work...so why is everyone instantly taking negative POV's on them?Just wondered...thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Here is what I think take it as you will. My mom and dad lived apart, not seperated but until one of our houses sold and it took a while. That worked fine they are still together. I think when it comes to long distance you need a lot of background and time with that person. I was in a relationship that was long distance after dating for the summer. We didn't work out and like most it was because the longer we were apart we started to grow into different people but we were in different places with different people and so we both changed in different ways. After a while it just seemed like we spent less time with each other and more with the people going in the same direction as the each of us were.
It took me a while to really figure this all out, I would never discourage a person from trying this but be aware of what I have said and maybe it would turn out better.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 July 2007):
 People tell you long distance doesn't work because, unfortunately, many times it doesn't. Long distance requires a hell of a lot of commitment, a lot more than the usual relationship with someone you see every so often.
The posters who agree that long distance works have something in common: eventually the two parties get together. So, I think we could say that "forever long distance" cannot really work, but "long distance for some time" can work. And sometimes wonderfully so.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): Another example of LD's working, right here. I got engaged and then my fiance' moved me to another city, where I finished my education for three years. we took turns traveling to see each other once a month (racked up frequent flyer miles), called almost every night (that was before the internet, email, and text messaging). We were in love and committed to each other, but I had to do this thing first, and he understood that, helped me do it. Three years later, he moved me home with my degree, we married, and have been married 19 years next month. It was a lot of work and sacrifice, but worth it. And it helped us grow certain of each other. The electronic age, I would think, would make it so much easier and cheaper today, to stay connected and emotionally intimate, then in my day. Do what you have to do in different area codes if you must, but be confident that you'll end up together, and work on it without suspicion or jealousy. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): is it really works? i've been doing this LD for 1 year,and yeah, as you mentioned it was a lot of hours in skype, msn, and phone. but i dont know when will this end?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): I agree and I am living proof that LD works!! I met a guy in Canada where I am from and he is from Europe. I am now living and bought a house with him and marrying him in OCtober. You are right, if you are both committed it can work, I have over 200 emails and thousands and thousands of hours on Skype and cell phone bills to prove it!!! If it is meant to be it will be!!! I am not saying that everyone will make it but I am lucky enough to be one of them!!!
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