A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So the other day my girlfriend broke up with me. So far I have tried to at least be slightly friendly with her and she has treated me like she doesn't even remember the good times we've had. We share a few mutual friends and they have treated me differently too. Everyone seems to be going to her side and I'm am left in the dust. It seems like she is also into soemone she knows is a good friend of mine and keeps flirting with him. He seems to like her back also. I just feel terrible and don't know what to do. What is the deal? What do I do? Why is it this way?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 November 2012):
 Because of your age :) In your age bracket, generally people has not developped a lot of social skills and haven't mastered yet the art breaking up civilly, smoothly and compassionately ( some never will ).
She has a point, though, in giving you a wide berth- even if maybe she is going a bit overboard right now. When you break a romantic relationship, there is really no point in styaing " friends ", it is actually impossible if the dumpee has romantic feelings, because then what he/ she will want is not really friendship, but a chance to maybe reconnect in future, or the pathetic need for some leftover crumbs of attention. You can be "friendly " with an ex, meaning civil, polite, saying hi in social situations, - not friends, as long as there are romantic feelings involved.
She can't even be friendly and polite right now, oh well, it's early days, it will all blow over in time. Ditto for taking sides , at her age girls ( and boys too sometimes...) are very cliquish and feel the need to take sides on every small , petty question, to declare their affiliation so to speak, and you are feeling the brunt of it. This won't last long either, try to not overreact and not freak out, act " normal " as usual.... and rather than hanging on hoping in the charity of a kind word, or look, start moving on !
She is single now, she can date whom he wants, and , honestly , if it's not going to be your friend ( who may want to back off according to bros code , perhaps )... it will be some other guy.
So lick your wounds, - for a SHORT while - then... once more unto the breach, at your age , sorry to sound jaded but I've seen it happen so many times, loves don't last long and passions change object quite fast, and in few months, or weeks, you may find yourself attracted to other girls.
Even if, considering you are 13-15, do you NEED to date yet ?? ! Maybe you'd better focus on your studies, hobbies and friends and come back to the dating scene when you'll be a bit more mature and more equipped to deal with it .
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