A
female
age
36-40,
*erdygirl
writes:Well, what if you don't have them, hmmmmm? What does that make me? Obviously, not a real woman. I know society puts pressure on women to be thin, but I don't understand why they need to listen to this crock of nonsense, since men prefer women with curves, supposedly. What if you're naturally thin? Does this make a woman undesirable? I hear so many men these days talking about how the want a woman with meat on their bones, something they can grab onto, someone who looks like a real woman, etc. Does that mean curveless women don't have a chance? Why can't my shape be womanly and desirable too? Women who have curves- please don't write hateful things about this post. Having an unwomaly body is NOT sunshine and flowers. Before you start talking about how women (or rather, pubescent boys) like me should be happy, please try to understand the anguish I feel for being unshapely. Consider what your identity is comprised of. First, it would probably be human being. Next, it would probably be your gender. Now imagine that you feel you cannot claim that huge portion of your identity. Now be happy that you have those curves. Be happy that you'll always be considered a woman. And men like women, so you'll always be in the green.Me...not curvy. Small breasts, not very wide hips, short, small. And apparently, I'm not really a woman. My curveless state makes me deficient and undesirable. Curvy women: be THANKFUL you have curves. Many women (so called adolescent girls) would kill to look like a woman. Curvy women: remember that volumptuous is always sexy and desirable. I wish I was a "real woman" too. I wish I inspired lust in men too. I wish I was wanted and good enough.
View related questions:
breasts, flowers Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Okay, lets explain it one more time:
Woman: Do you like a-cups.
Man: Ah, a-cups. Lovely.
Woman: so you like small breasts, what about c-cups.
Man: Ah, c-cups. Lovely.
Woman: so medium and small. What about D-cups
Man: Ah, d-cups. Lovely.
Woman: WHAT DO YOU LIKE, Big boobs, medium boobs or small boobs?
Man: Ah, boobs. Lovely.
Of course there are some men who have a strong preference for one or another or feel they have to have a strong prefence for one or the other.
But just as some prefer woman with enough meat on them for two women, others prefer the athletic build. What very few men worth dating however want is a woman who has a negative self image. If you hate your body it shows and most men just won't want to be with you because it would mean constantly having work on eggshells. Would you want a man constantly worried he doesn't look like a real man? Constantly have to tell him that he is fine, you love him, bearbelly and skinny arms and all?
No. Google a bit, search on images and see what other near flat, straight line women are considered sex symbols. Keira Knightley comes to mind.
A
female
reader, Ms.Helper  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 It's your self confidence that is the problem! Different men like different women, it's not all about how people look. Men also like small boobs, big boobs, curvy women, fat women, slim women etc etc!You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, be grateful that you have a nice body, BELIEVE that you have a nice body. I hope everything goes well :)x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Your problem is your lack of self confidence not your body shape. Your the girl who sits back and waits for someone to drag you out of the corner. My biggest turn on is a well dressed well groomed woman. I don't care what size she is, how big her boobs are. I'm not saying to wear expensive clothes. I'm saying wear clothes that fit you well. Get your nails done,toes done,and walk in the room with your head held high. You have to provide a challenge to the men around you. Guys (and women too) always want what they think they can't have. Have ever heard the saying " nice guys/girls finish last"?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): It's not that important to men at all hahaha! It's cos women are so insecure alawys asking men what they prefer, and every man is different! So silly.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): It's preference. One of my brothers is married to a wholesome woman. "Wholesome" being quite large and not curvy, but not unhealthily overweight either. He could have had the choice of almost anyone on the planet, included a couple of princesses if he so wishes. Yet, he chose her, or rather, she chose him. Another of my brothers has been in a relationship with a once very fat girl, whom over the last six years has become very fit. Again, with preference.
"Real woman" is subjective to preference. Like a few posts here that women should stay in the kitchen and take care of the children while men work - again, preference. Are they 'more woman' or 'less'?
Your questions seem more rhetorical than ones that 'need' answers. "Why can't my shape be womanly and desirable too?" Common media may influence men and women to be a certain way, but there are many who are not or rather, not as influenced.
This "nonsense" you pointed out, is not necessarily 'nonsense'. It's preference.
After reading your post again for the third time, I cannot come to a conclusion as to why you posted your thoughts up here. Should they not be for a blog page or a personal diary? Ranting of this nature does not benefit discussion because ultimately, it all comes down to personal preference.
If you do not agree to common society's views, then continue to not agree with it and live the way you wish to live. If you are unhappy with the preferences of others and seek a hidden desire to control or sway common society into a direction that suits you, then be prepared to be countered with heavy resistance. Else, you may find yourself surrendering to a fantasy that will never be.
Ever seen the movie Equilibrium with Christian Bale? When I read your thoughts, this movie immediately came to mind.
...............................
A
female
reader, molly4  +, writes (15 May 2009):
 There are countless styles of clothing to add curves and shape, in this day and age it isn't hard to transform yourself. I'm sure you are very frustrated but you need to transform your way of thinking. So many body types are gorgeous, long and lean, short and petite, curvy, muscular, i could go on forever. You ARE good enough. Get out there and be thankful for what you do have, don't assume that you are unwanted. xoxo
...............................
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (15 May 2009):
 Is this even a question? Should it be in the articles section? X
...............................
|
