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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I was out with my 15 yr old niece the other day and I was a little disturbed by what I saw. Shes growing into an attractive young lady. A lot of teenage boys were checking her out. I became kind of protective of her but I guess its natural.However what really disturbed me was when I saw a few grown men check her out. I was literally taken aback. I've had similar experiences with her at the beach.For gods sake, what are adult men doing looking at teen girls?I've even heard some adult women in their 30's and 40's who say they check out teenage boys who they think are cute.Has anyone else ever experienced this? Why in the world are adults checking out teenagers? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (2 January 2007):
 This is in no way a new phenomenon. Unless we all hold a sign above our heads stating our age, many men and women can't tell the age of an individual they are checking out anyway! Puberty is starting at a chronologically younger age now - so people look physically mature when they are still emotionally immature.
Our society worships at the altar of youth, which is wrong in itself - but lets not get into that argument here....A young 'fresh' specimen of humanity to look at is a joy, to either sex. It means nothing seedy or disrespectful very often.
It is just the way of the world.
xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007):
Humankind only survived because 15yo's had sex, so there is a legitmate biological element to this.
Looking discretly might be ok, but when it goes to oogling that really is gouche.
If she goes around dressing in a slutty, mid drift bare fashions she will be attracting a lot of attention. It is unreasonable to assume that it will only be from "cute" guys.
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A
female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (2 January 2007):
 I think that older men who check out teens and hit on them are totally sick!!!!! my ex was hitting on 17 year old girls....and i think he was doing other things too...if you catch my drift!!!!! he was 40!!!
thank God he's my ex!!!(i heard after i left him, his ex-wife told me that young teen girls would come to their house asking for him!!!) yuck!!!!
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (2 January 2007):
 My daughter developed early. We were on vacation and she was headed to the pool...her dad and I behind her. A 30 something man looked at her and spoke..."Hey baby...wanna..."
That was as far as he got. She stuck her nose in the air and said "Drop Dead child predator!" Loud enough that those at the pool 3 stories away all turned to look.
He was mortified by the attention and had to walk all the way around to his room with everyone staring. Now She was 11 at the time and I was very proud of her. Her dad said..."well she just saved him a hospital visit" as he passed by us refusing to make eye contact.
But now in his favor....she couldn't eat off the child's menu...nobody believed her...or us. And she is a cheerleader.....unfortunately she looks a bit like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader...rather than a gawky preteen knobby kneed Jr varsity.
Because she is Striking...we have always taught her to expect this attention and therefore realise that she will always have to be more careful of where she goes and how she conducts herself. On squad, she has no choice in what she wears....or to the pool really....but the rest of the time she very consciously dresses down compared to her friends. She chooses to be more modest so that she does not attract the wrong sort of attention. Because we have always been very open with her....and she wants to be a vet and can discuss horse breeding until I want to puke...She makes her own decisions about when and if she ever chooses to be sexually active. (They all do actually...but most are thrown to the wolves so parents can pretend.)
Parents being uncomfortable with the subject and somehow thinking they are protecting their little innocent darlings by keeping them Innocent....don't seem to grasp that it makes them more vulnerable. Innocent = Unprepared. I would never send a child to an algebra test Innocent of the subject.....Don't let your niece face a TEST she can't pass...talk to her parents about helping her prepare. You will not always be there to protect them from the crazies....teach them how to avoid them in the first place. And, it isn't something New by any means. wishing you the best luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Did you grow up locked away in an atic underground or something? Or are you horrifically mutilated that guys just don't see you as attractive?
Maybe this was less common even just one generation ago, but nowadays teenagers, and even pre-teens are allowed, and want, to dress sexually provocatively. High heels / tights / miniskirts / revealing tops / makeup will turn the eyes of 99% of heterosexual men. It's why girls where these kind of clothes. Poor little insecure girls mistaking wanting to be a grown adult and prostituting their bodies for attention she should get from their family.
Although she's a little old now, you can still do much to help her distinguish between the kind of guys that check her out and guys that intend to love and respect her. Do this. Don't even attempt to find out why people are attracted to teens, rather concentrate on educating the young generation so that they know the difference between good and bad attention.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): So what was your teenage niece wearing? That could play a part of it. If she's wearing revealing clothes could be the reason that guys, young and old, are looking at her. Guys tend to like to look at eye candy and nowadays more and more girls are giving guys more of a look.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Oh man, been there. When I was 12 I was hit on by men in their 40s. I'm 17 now and it still hasn't stopped. I don't know why.
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