A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl about a year ago through class. Both of us were in relationships at the time but there was attraction, I would even say she had a major crush on me but she was very shy.I was going to break up with my partner and leave my number with her with which she can decide what to do from there. I chickened out.I saw her in suggested friends, she did not have facebook a year ago. I have some of her friends on mine. She has not sent a friend request to me. I think she is still in a relationship.Why wouldnt she have sent a request? Is she hoping I will send it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 September 2019):
 If your relationship has run it's course and your partner ins't interested in figuring out HOW you two can fix it, then walk away.
GIVE yourself some time to BE single afterwards.
Maybe take a good hard look at the last relationship and take RESPONSIBILITY for whatever was YOUR part in it not working. That way you can hopefully learn to not repeat it in the next relationship.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2019): @honeypie @cindycares @aunty bimbim thank you.
@n91 @Youcannotbeserious Yes I think it is perfectly fine to leave a number and not pursue it afterwards. You have 1 life and life isnt a perfect world, it isnt always black and white.
I would also expect my partner to inform me if this happened and I wouldnt be upset. This has happened to me.
@anon I had in fact tried many times to speak to my partner about our relationship over the past couples years. I was getting nowhere.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2019): First of all, why aren't you thinking about your gf in all of this? Why are you so concerned about greener grass with another female whose in a relationship. Just like you are! You don't jump from person to person because of an attraction. People aren't replaceable when things aren't ideal or optimal in a relationship. That's life. If you aren't happy, tell your gf. Leave her first. That's the DECENT and RIGHT thing to do.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (14 September 2019):
 I usually read posts before actually looking at the poster's profile. Are you really the age it says on your profile? I assumed you were in your teens.
Regardless of your age, you are OUT OF ORDER to be slipping your number to a girl who is already in a relationship with the goal of having a relationship with her, regardless of whether you think she has a crush on you. It's lucky you did chicken out. Whether she had a crush on your or not is immaterial. Being in a relationship does not stop us feeling attraction towards other people. However, what we choose to DO about that attraction defines our moral compass.
Did you even think through what you intended to do? If she HAD phoned you and started a relationship with you, would you ever have been able to trust her not to do the same to you as she had done to her previous boyfriend if someone else made a pass at her?
Your heart is obviously not in your current relationship. Let your girlfriend go so she can find someone who wants her 100%, rather than keeping her on the back burner until something better comes along. That is totally immoral and she deserves better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2019): It's a sad sign of the times when a 30 something is asking on a website why his crush hasn't added him on a social media site.What ever happened to good old fashioned 'fancy a coffee?' or respecting the boundaries of somebody else's relationship for that matter?To answer your question like so many others have, the lady is no longer interested (if she ever even was). When we have a 'crush' we only see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We assume that something must be wrong if the other person doesn't make a move.Time to be smart and not be a douche - leave this girl to be happy with her current partner. Also in future, forget Facebook. It's the lazy man's way. Make the effort to actually get to know the person - Facebook is no good for that.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (14 September 2019):
 Are you really 30-35? As this sounds like you’re a teen or something.
She has a partner, if she wanted to be friends she would be. Find someone who is unattached, NEVER try to interfere with someone who’s in a relationship. Would you like it if guys were ‘dropping their number’ to your GF if you were in a happy relationship?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 September 2019):
 She hasn't sent a friend request because she doesn't want to be your facebook friend. It's that simple.
I doubt she is hoping you will send a request, the suggested list is something facebook does based on mutual friends and also what you look at on facebook.
If you think she is still in a relationship then you need to respect the fact she hasn't tried to contact you and look elsewhere for prospective partners.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 September 2019):
 If she is still in a relationship, it makes sense that she did not send you a friend request !, either because now she is not attracted to you anymore but is only attracted to her partner, or, because there still might be in the back of her mind some lingering attraction but she realized that this was / is just a superficial crush ( you basically barely even knew each other ! ) and she does not want to jeopardize her current, real relationship to indulge what's basically, just a fantasy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 September 2019):
No, she isn't hoping you will.
SHE is still in a relationship so pursuing you would be wrong, crush or no crush.
I think YOU need to look elsewhere.
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