A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I have had no communication with the guy I was in a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship with for the last 1yr 4 months - now 5 months later I receive an email from him out of the blue saying 'Hope you are fine. Tell me what is going on? Can we what?'. He now lives in another country (far away) so it's obviously not for a booty call. (I still see him as active and online regularly, on the social website we met on, but he never initiates contact with me, and for the last 5 months he did not contact me even though he could see I was online, so I decided that I would not contact him first).I've tried to forget him, but I still have feelings for this guy, and I had hoped we would move on to have a committed, serious relationship, but he always seemed happy with the FWB set-up. Deep in my heart I always thought/hoped he would want more with me too. But can this ever happen after being FWB?I don't know what to do. Should I respond to his email? or should I just ignore it? Why has he contacted me now, after all this time? Could it be that he wants me back, or is just being friendly?Please help. Thank you.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 December 2012):
 He is still interested... in setting up his booty calls during Xmas time .And the closer the holiday season will get, the more persistent he'll become :).
Come on, he was your FWB, not your partner. And he lives abroad now ! Do you really think that if you could not change the terms of your relationship when he was here, you'll be able to do it now from a distance ?
Keep avoiding him. Unless, of course, all you want too is some seasonal fun and frolic.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello everyone,
he has contacted me again, another 4 times asking if I'm fine, and why have I not responded to his emails - my heart is telling me that he is still interested, and my head is trying to work out what is going on here.
Any advice? I'm confused!
Thanks to all.
best regards.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, and thank you for your all your replies.
Oldbag - what you wrote really hit home for me, as I do think he is setting himself up for booty calls over the Christmas period when he is back for a visit.
And JogiBharat makes a good point about 'getting committment'. How, is another question, I have to work on that.
It's good advice, and I have decided to ignore his email.
I feel better already for not giving in to him.
Thank You!
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A
male
reader, JogiBharat  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 My advise based on some basic understanding. Sex is something, life need it like a body need breath for survival. Status of sex in life is same. It is better if relations is committed and not casual. Life cannot be life on any random value, because life is like a flow of water in river, so sex life need is also follow that flow.
The question is not how one get relationship, but how one should get commitment. If you do not see commitment, then better is to drop such random relations. Ask more if my reply not give enough light to your question...yes ?
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Hi
If he is in another country and has been silent for that long I would say he just sent the email randomly. Maybe he was bored or perhaps he is due home for a visit for xmas or something and wants to line up a FWB meet again while back.Probably sent out a few.
Personally I would ignore it or just simply say 'alls good thanks'. Don't read anything into it or get your hopes up he's just fishing.
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