A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:what is wrong with me. why do men not want to have a relationship with me. they want to be friends, friends with benefits but that is all... i am told how attractive, sweet and wonderful i am, but they still find someone better to go with
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Re AuntyEms advice - alot of what she says is very true - however I have friends who have met and stayed with men - (one of them met hers on the Net), when aged 55- 62.
Not all mature men want to buy a bride or have a g/f in her 30s, you just have to 'kiss alot of frogs'.
Personally I find the older men get, the more set in their ways and unenergetic/boring I find them, so it works both ways
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Find someone who's brutally honest and ask them OP.
Friends always call friends "attractive, sweet and wonderful" especially girls, you could have warts growing all over face, three eyes and seven noses and your friends will still say those things.
It's best you ask your most brutally honest friend for a break down of where you might be going wrong, make sure they know you will not hold their answer against them even if it does sting a bit.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (10 February 2012):
 Frpm another point of view I don't think it's you or the men you become involved with...I think it's the dating game and society that has changed. There has never been another time in history where men and women could live so independently and so happily apart. The need and desire to co-habit has been diminished because because people over the age of 45 are usually settled and finacially secure, their kids are grown and have left home and apart from the social and physical need to be in a relationship, the lure is less attractive.
The internet has turned dating into more of a shopping and open market experience that is not conducive with emotional connections. Because women are much more emotive than men, they feel the rejections of passing romeos much more deeply and that hurt can frustrate them and damage them. Men, being less emotional can skim over the many masses of women available and move on quickly when they dont think they have a reasonable match.
Older women tend to be left floundering because men their own age have the added bonus of being able to date women who are much younger as well as the massive amount of foreign mail order brides that are flooding in from china, russia, poland and thailand. These women have very low expectations, come from very poor countries and are very easily manipulated, but because they are usually pretty with wonderful bodies, they are instantly attractive to a lot of men (especially older ones who need the ego boost)
Older women tend to know what they want and do not take any sh*t. They can be opinionated and self assured and this can be a turn off for a lot of men, who don't want to have to work someone out.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule and people meet and fall in love all the time but the ground has definitely shifted and the rules of engagement have changed. The whole friends with benefits thing is nothing more than a lie. It's an arrangement that suits single men perfectly but that damages women because women equate sex with emotional attachment. Most women will swear they can handle it but eventually they want exclusivity and commitment to validate who they are and by that time the man has gotten what he wants and has moved on to someone else.
There is nothing wrong with you, nothing at all, you are just living in a world where the gap between men and women is getting bigger and bigger and less and less emotive.
I read a statistic that states that in the UK by 2015 40% of households will be single person occupancy...what does that tell you? The world is changing, casual sex, the internet and mail order brides have devalued loving committed relationships and I think its irreversible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2012): Well if your not giving out free sex to these men,to soon, then who knows
Perhaps you need to start looking in other places,meet men you have things in common with. Also make it clear from the start that your looking for long-term, not a fling and act accordingly.
And stop thinking they find somebody 'better', thats putting yourself down.
Do you have any male relatives or colleagues you can ask and get an honest answer from?
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