A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi agony aunts! I'm having a problem with love. Not romantically though. My problem is I don't really love one of my brothers. I have 4 sibs. 2 brothers and 2 sisters. (All halves two at each house.) I love my first born brother and used to love my 2nd brother. Then I got my sisters who I love to pieces. I think one of the problems is my brother is mean to my baby sister, so I feel the need to be mean to him. He is 6, and sometimes evil. I'm not mean to him just to be mean, only when he's mean to my sister. I want to love him like I used to, I feel so horrible. Maybe it's because I love my baby sister more and this will go away? I dont know but I need help. Why don't I love my brother? Thank you. Xoxo Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ScaredForLove +, writes (7 February 2012):
Okay I feel for you because I'm the oldest as well and I used to get mad at my bro for being mean to baby. You do love him. You are just mad at him that's all. Don't worry to much. Be are full how you react to what he does because then he might feel its ok to act like that to baby as well. Just relax and maybe play with him, make him feel like you care. Because you do, I know it.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (5 February 2012):
 This is terrible. You are older, you should be protecting and taking care of your younger family. Your brother at 6 is still a baby, his brain is not fully grown, he doesn't really understand what he is doing.Yes, you have the right not to like him because he is so naughty. But he is still a baby and he is still your brother, you must be very careful not to hurt him.If he is hurting your little sister and it upsets you, I suggest you go and talk to mum or dad and tell them exactly what you told us. Maybe they need to tell him off more or maybe they need to explain to him about not hurting people. But you must not hit him or hurt him, you might break him. It's your parents responsibility to sort out problems. Go and talk to them about your feelings and what is happening and they will be able to explain and fix it.Soon he will grow up and you will grow up and both of you will change. When you were 6 you were probably just as naughty but maybe you didn't have any younger brothers or sisters to treat this way.
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A
female
reader, neomum +, writes (5 February 2012):
stop being mean to your brother he must be feeling unloved at the moment i bet he was the baby before your sister came along and now he's no longer the baby and everyone is giving the baby more attention and he is feeling unloved so he's way is to upset the baby to get mum and dad's attention. He is only a child a small child that needs love and guidance not a big sister that is acting like judge and jury by being mean to him Take him to the park or play games with him if you or someone else gives him some attention then you may see that he changes the way he behaves towards your little sister. Give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him.
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A
male
reader, gundam007 +, writes (5 February 2012):
It sounds like you're older than your brothers. Being the older sibling carries a lot of responsibility, and you already identified that this could be a problem. You can't force yourself to feel a certain way, but you can affect what your siblings experience from you. Part of growing up with younger siblings is helping them out. I know I must have done something wrong when I was a teenager, because I have a younger sister, who for years wouldn't really share much with me or talk to me, and then one day much much later after she's married, we're talking about it and she says "I thought you hated me." Ok, maybe you can't show super bonds of love right now, but try to keep a balance. You want your siblings to be able to come to you when they have trouble and can't tell your parents. When you see your brother being mean to your sister, let him have it: tell him it's wrong, and why, but don't shun him. Even if you're cross with him, make it up to yourself by being nice to him later. Show some TOUGH LOVE. And if you're still bothered by it and don't know what to do, talk to your parents. If you can't do that, then there is a much more serious communication gap there, and you and your parents need to figure out how they can be approachable and listen to you better. You have a good eye for recognizing problems in your family ties, so I think theyre lucky to have you. You'll figure it out, and don't rush. Good luck.
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