A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I treat her like a queen, why doesn't my wife believe me? What can I do to convince her she is the love of my life? We were at my school reunion. I was talking with my ex-girlfriend Linda and her husband when my wife Sally,not knowing who they were, came up by my side. I got quiet, no one spoke, then Linda blurted out thats my husband and they shook hands. Sally realized then quickly left and I saw her ninety minutes later in the hall. I stayed catching up on old times with my friends. I did not seek my wife out at the reunion she made her own friends that weekend. At the dinner/dance, Linda and I sat together holding hands during the class photo session that took about 20 minutes. We hugged and I returned to our table, my wife Sally was pissed! I did't expect her to get mad. I left the table for the bar most of the evening and danced once with my wife. After the last dance, Linda came across the room and kissed me at our table in front of my wife saying goodby. My wife was conversing and did not see us, so Linda announced loudly, thank you for letting me kiss your husband. I looked at my wife tried to hold her hand-if looks could kill! Everyone at the table turned quiet. My wife Sally feels I ignored her,which I just did't know anybody at my reunion after 45 years and just didn't wamt to introduce her to my ex., I didn't want to hurt Sally. Sally feels hurt, humilated and angry that I behaved intimately and emotionally flirty with my ex-Linda and that I still care alot by the way I completely ignored my wife. I say this is innocent, it's nothing it was long ago. I am angry because she's not trusting me. I treat her like a queen and tell her I love her everday. She feels I treated her like a nobody in my turf and that behavior is a true measure of our life. She has never ignored me with family or her friends. Please give me some insight. We had some ugly fights and are stagnant.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2011): ironman 777
I would be interested in your answer to the lady's response since the husband won't talk about this event because he already told her he loves her. How does she get him to open up without him physically yelling and throwing items or just walking away and giving her the silent treatment for days? Wife wants to talk, he doesn't. If he explains his actions and conversations she would be at peace, I think.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): I think the two answers given are good, but didn't address the problems. Why didn't you show some respect and introduce her, like you would any other friend? Not knowing anyone at your reunion is a weak excuse, sounds fishy to me! Second why did you continue holding her hand for so long? Why didn't you put your ex girlfriend in her place early on? Instead you play along all that weekend and think it innocent when you and your ex, made a fool of your wife-trusting you to set respectful boundaries that whole time? If your wife didn't see the kiss, you wouldn't have told her right? What she doen't know won't hurt her is your story? But your ex Linda had an agenda, to prove she still had your affection over the wife she would of been. Sally was looking forward to meeting your friends and you treated her like she had no place in your childhood. That would punch a big hole in my life. Would like input from other males in this situation. I think wife Sally showed trust, but horny husband just wanted his cookies, is weak but doesn't want to owe up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): Well, sounds like you treated your wife badly around an old gf from 45 years ago, and she's probably thinking that you wish things were different and you had been with the old gf instead of her.
You treated her poorly in front of others.
If I was in her shoes, I'd feel the same way...and to a lesser measure I was in her shoes once, although not a class reunion and I really didn't like it, talked to my wife about how she was acting, and she didn't repeat it...yet.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (18 May 2011):
Hi - from what you have described it sounds like you kind of are ignoring her and actions do speak louder than words. If you wonder off to talk to people you havent seen for years and leave your wife to it for the entire weekend most people would get pissed off with that. It wouldnt have been fun for them. You are probably not even aware you do it, but she will be acutely aware of it and probably oversensitve by now, but you can at least acknowledge her feels and make it up to her in other ways. Just telling her you love her is not enough - show her you love her.
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