A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with a really great guy for about 9 months now. About a month before we started dating, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year. I wanted to get back together at the time, but he made it clear it was out of the question. I ended up rebounding with this other guy, who if truth be told I liked more about than the last one and ended up completely falling for him. But he seems completely unable to really express emotions. He won't ever say how he feels about me no matter what I do and it's starting to be a real hinderance to the relationship. I told him I loved him once and he never said anything back. Now I'm afraid to express my feelings for him and it has actually made my feelings for him decrease. The last one never seemed to want to spend time with me but was very open about his feelings for me. This one always wants to spend time with me and won't share anything. Anyway, the first one emailed me a couple days ago saying he thinks we might have made a mistake breaking up and wondering if I might be up to getting back together. I thought at first that I would immediately say no, but I can't seem to say it. I'm really stuck.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 May 2011):
 my soon to be ex husband always told me he loved me. WORDS they were WORDS... his actions didn't say love..
my current boyfriend warned me from day one that he could NOT say the L word. (yes we call it the L word like it's some dirty four letter word)... and he can't. He chokes on it.
He actually once said "I l-word you" NO LIE...
BUT, let me tell you this man who can't say "I love you" loves me more than any man has ever loved me and I know it... he is kind, he is attentive, he is passionate, he is sincere, he is honest....
his actions say I love you.... even if his words do not.
if you have a great time with current BF think long and hard about if that magic little 4 letter word is such a deal breaker....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): Some people find it hard to express emotions and feelings. He could be shy or uncertain about his true feelings and therefore does not want to show you just yet.
I'd say your current bf who wants to spend time with you seems better than your ex who doesn't. Actions speak louder than words and just by wanting to be with you almost already say how he feels about you. On the other hand, your ex who can openly express his feelings for you but didn't want to spend time with you could also be lying or making things up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2011): The word ex is used for a region. Tell your new boyfriend how you feel at the moment. Don't mention the other boy at all. If you want to, break up with your boyfriend then do it soon, drawing out pain is a horrible thing to do. Definitely talk to the other boy, give it between 1 and 3 months before you get with the other guy.
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