A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We met on myspace and he lives in Oregon. I live in California. We are 16 years old and almost 17. We met over summer and really connected the days he was here. Before meeting each other we were just in love but not technically in a relationship. He made me cry a lot and pressured me to do things I didn't want to do to the point where I gave in to make him happy and for him to stay with me. After meeting him he promised he would change. He did change but it didn't really last. Things started going downhill due to how much we missed each other. Because I'm not there with him I started setting rules like, he can't talk to girls, he can't be out with his friends too late, etc. I know it sounds controlling but because of the distance, its the only way I can assure myself he's not fooling around. He breaks up with me constantly because of how controlling I am but then gets over it after a couple hours. I always go back to him first. He has never came to me to make up. I'm sick of him not being there for me or listening to what I want him to do. I do everything he says but to me it seems like he doesn't want to make me his world. In a way thats what I want. I'm just confused. I know I should back off a little but I'm scared. I love him with all my heart but crying everyday just hurts.
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female
reader, nicole90 +, writes (16 October 2009):
 That's a hard situation. LDR (long distance relationships) are sketchy. Both need to trust that the other wouldn't cheat. You are still pretty young and there are lots of guys out there who you have the capability to love. I had a boyfriend in high school and i thought I couldn't love anyone the same. As I got older I realized I had changed so dramatically and that there are so many oppurtunities to find someone you're compatible with. Ask him how much he is willing to put into the relationship. It's something you both need to be on the same level on. Good luck!
A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (16 October 2009):
 First off why would you want to be with someone who pressured you into doing things you didnt want to...doesnt sound like too great of a relationship to me!? Youve got to stop running back to him to make up because that shows him he doesnt have to because you will, why would he!? You cant make "rules" for him, hes not a little kid and not many guys would put up with that shit! You need to back off...set LIMITS and learn to trust him because no relationship will make it without love, trust, honesty and loyalty! He shouldnt be making "rules" for you either, you also are old enough to make your own decisions but once again LIMITS are good to set and have! It sounds like you want his world to revolve around you and hun at 16 your dreamin, you should probably set your sights a little lower! Just try to work together on your relationship and dont get too controlling or too controlled!!! Good luck!
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