A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that when your dating someone and you want to share it on facebook they dont want to. Its been a long time now since we've been together but he still acts like he doesnt know it. I havent done anything to him at all so what does this mean? Everbody posts in a relationship but us!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): Hi there hun, i got an idea for u. Put up a picture of u and him as your facebook picture and everyone will see it. Make it a juicy one and voila! If he objects to it.......hes playing the field. That way u are respecting his privacy blah blah but getting what u want-letting everyone know hes yours!
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 hi try not worry about this, judge him more on the way he treats you. my niece was upset that her boyfriend hadn't put a relationship status on his facebook (he had not said he was single either), she had only just met him and thought it might been that he wanted other girls to think he was still single. he told her that he was just a private person and likes to 'fly under the radar!'. anyway, that was a year ago and they're still together and he is very faithful. however, he only made a facebook page to have some family photo's sent to him and as far as we are aware he never uses facebook to chat and stuff, so, if your boyfriend IS the sort of person who puts anything and everything on his wall and is not a private person but he omits the relationship status, then maybe you should speak to him about it. what about his friends? have they got girlfriends and if so have they updated their r.ship status? i think a lot of lads are more likely to do the same as what their friends doxx
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (10 January 2011):
 You said he doesn't act like he knows you're in a relationship. Are you absolutely sure he does?
I'm not much of a supporter of Facebook and would normally agree with cat_lady, because things like Facebook and Myspace seem absolutely ridiculous excuses for people to be self-absorbed and to advertise every detail of their life. This is especially true for your age group, it's as if every detail possible is shared, so I find it hard to believe a 13-15 year old boy would want to be so private about his life. I'm 23, and this behaviour is widespread even in my age group. Assuming he does know you're together and in a relationship, what reason would he have to leave out that one detail?
There are also privacy settings on these sites that can restrict who is able to view your info, and Facebook in particular makes it really easy to decide whether you want only friends, friends of friends, etc. to see your profile. With that in mind, I think the real reason could be he just doesn't want to tell people. He doesn't take the relationship seriously and doesn't want to advertise it in case another girl comes along. At 13-15, boys don't care about privacy in the same way adults do.
Obviously this wouldn't be true if he's usually a private person and doesn't share much about his life on Facebook or anywhere else. In that case, there would be nothing to worry about. But really, what 13-15 year old doesn't want everyone they know to know about every detail of their life? These sites were made specifically to enable that.
You know him better than we do, what is he like usually?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 At least he can remove the post that says his relationship status. If it says he is single and he wont change it to "in a relationship" then he should remove it so people can't see it.
But, many don't want to update their love life on facebook because facebook is out in the public, and maybe he has family or random people on facebook that he doesn't want to announce his relationship status to.
This doesn't mean he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, or that he is ashamed of it. He just likes his privacy!
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A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (10 January 2011):
 No, 'everyone' does NOT publish on 'facebook' every detail of their private business so it doesn't mean anything you have to worry about if your boyfriend is not a devotee of the place. From what I hear from young people in general, that kind of thing tends to attract more girls than boys anyway. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't like being paraded about as an internet exhibition; it may embarrass and annoy him - especially in your age group. In the old days, it was usually girls who kept social scrapbooks, even when boys willingly contributed material to them. It's just not a 'guy' thing.
I do not have one single friend who does it. They ridicule the idea instead and any children they have seem to have taken the same attitude about it, which is: Want to be spied upon by people you don't like? Want your business in the street so it comes up to bite you later? Want to attract weirdos trolling for kids who don't know better? Go advertise on facebook and get all of that. I've never even been to the place unless I'm following a link to an article, let alone got an account there. It's simply not everyone's cup of tea, girl. Don't worry about it. Surely there are other interesting activities you can share - at his age, perhaps sports or computer science.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 he may not want every bit of his life posted on a site. Both me and my gf never even got fb in the first place because it is so unnecessary to a relationship. You should focus on whether or not you're happy with him and that he treats you right and respect that your relationship with him is between you two. I wouldn't want everyone to be looking at pictures or random people hearing about the relationship so I see where he is coming from.
I say try to distance yourself from fb and be someone who doesn't just follow what everyone else is doing. Instead of updating your status of your relationship you two could be going on dates and having fun together.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Is he a private person? if so he probably just want to broadcast his relationship to everybody.
If not, well, then he's keeping his options open, if another girl comes along, he doesn't want to blow it by being listed as in a relationship.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 January 2011):
 Maybe he is a guy that doesn't want it to be plastered all over facebook. Respect to the guy, I wouldn't want that either, it's private business and I don't blame him for not wanting everyone to know about it. I wouldn't read too much into it, if the relationship is going well, that's all that matters and not what the status is on facebook.
I understand that it may be hurtful to you because you want to show people that you're going out with each other, but take into consideration his view on things too. If he doesn't want to post his personal life on facebook then don't try to force him too.
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