A
female
age
41-50,
*llieb19
writes:I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years and known him for longer than that! We were also business partners and the best of friends suring our relationship. He cheated, I forgave him, then I found out he kept cheating on and off for 3 years! Now, he is malicious, angry and gets frustrated that I'm hurt and upset. Why doesn't he understand? Why did he take it this far? Why isn't he patient with me? He doesn't want to change either, why?
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female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (30 November 2010):
Aunty BimBim speaks the truth--he's angry because your knowledge of his clandestine actions spoils all the fun and takes away the control he believed he had over you and your relationship. I have encountered those who thought their separate lives and the consequent lies were above me and everyone else they know, and regrettably, one of these liars was a bf at one point. He would explode at the slightest questioning of his whereabouts, plans, or intentions that he thought undermined his version of the "truth." And I don't mean relentless inquiries or accusations either, I'm talking about innocent questions or observations that would otherwise be considered normal or considerate. He was (and is) a sad, disenfranchised man, one whom I'm glad I no longer endure.
Your fiance won't change, in all likelihood. Your feelings don't seem to matter to him, only his own gratification. This is one instance in which I would advise walking--he's taken you for granted long enough.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (30 November 2010):
 You can't imagine life without him and that's precisely why he's been cheating on you for three years. To him, your upset is just unnecessary noise because he's not going to stop and he knows you're not going to leave him. Really, you've given him no incentive to change.
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A
female
reader, allieb19 +, writes (29 November 2010):
allieb19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify...wee have been together for 7 yrs, not engaged that long. I was young when we got together.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (29 November 2010):
 Time to break off the engagement, perhaps?
Seven years engaged is a heck of a long time to INTEND to marry (which is what an engagement is) and not get around to tying the knot.
I agree with Aunty BimBim he acts this way because he can no longer get away with such outrageous behavior.....doesn't sound good.
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A
female
reader, allieb19 +, writes (29 November 2010):
allieb19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, so what do I do now? He was such an integral part of my life, I can't imagine life without him!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 November 2010):
 He is malicious, angry and frustrated because you are not falling for his line of lies anymore.
His cosy little world where he could go off and cheat and come home and pull the wool over your eyes is disintergrating.
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