A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am currently dating this guy that I have know for a couple of months. We havent been on a real date yet because he doesnt have money right now but he promised to take me out once he does. The first night we got together (granted he was drunk) he wanted to have sex. I told him that I dont without a commitment and asked if he wanted to try dating and he said "we'll go with the flow" Since then, whenever we make out, he gets really horny and wants to get physical. I asked if he was one of those guys who just wants to sleep with me and he says he does but thats not all he wants. We communicate about every other day and he calls me beautiful and baby all the time. He spent the night one time and we slept together (literally slept, no sex) and I asked him what exactly we were and he said that he didnt know, all he knows is that he likes me and likes hanging out and he wants to see where this goes. I asked if he was one of those guys who is afraid of commitment and he said no, hes had other gfs before. We've been seeing each other for only two weeks so I dont know if its too early to get excusive or what. Is he truly genuine or does he just want to get in my pants? Why cant he just ask me out?
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male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (20 March 2009):
 The anonymous writer below (starting with "sounds like") makes some pretty good points. And I call that out to just reiterate them.I will add this: my gf of over a year and I started dating no more than 4 weeks after we first met each other (after the first "Hello"). So there's never a too soon... don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. However, there's a too soon if it's too soon in YOUR opinion.Another thing I want to comment on. Quote you: "I asked if he was one of those guys who is afraid of commitment and he said no, hes had other gfs before."-- Having gfs before does NOT equate to him being afraid of commitment. Take time to explore his past relationships by asking him questions like how they ended and the like. What I'm trying to say is that he could have a fear of commitment _now_ because of how his last or previous girlfriends treated him. Him saying he has had previous gfs is by NO way proof that he is ready and not afraid for committing himself to you. You basically need to figure out if he's ready or not to tie himself down to another girl... to tie himself down to you.My suggestion: don't give him anything more until he shows that he's ready to commit. Even if you like him to death let this dude slide if he can't go exclusive with you. As the anonymous replier stated below: if you can't get him to commit, he's only looking for no-strings benefits (aka friends with benefits).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): Sounds like he wants a friend with benefits! He doesnt want the committment of a relationship just the sex whenever he feels like it. If you are okay with this, then go for it however I suspect you want more out of a relationship so if he cannot offer more then it is time for you to move on!I dont believe it is a money thing, there are lots of things to do as a couple that dont cost lots, so he must stop using that as an excuse.
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