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Why doesn't anyone want to be with me?

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Question - (17 October 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 October 2008)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I am 23 years old and I have never had a boyfriend, I have never had sex, I've never even had oral sex and this is not because I don't want to... it's because no one has ever tried. See, I think the problem is I am 23 but I look like I'm 16... I'm cute, I'm not sexy... I am 100% sure guys look at me like I'm a none sexual being but I am! I think about being with someone all the time! And, it's not like I haven't tried or don't try. I try and try and try but guys... all guys, not just the ones my age but guys younger than me just don't respond...I've gone out with a couple of guys but they all lost interest after about a week and stopped calling and everyone of them went out with someone after me and they were the one not me...I want to be the one. I go out with my friends to meet guys, they get attention, no one even sees me and I am social, let me tell you, I don't just sit there and let things come to me...I'm like the little pal to most guys...I just don't get it!

I want a boyfriend, I want to be with someone... I want someone to hold me... to go to the movies with... to bring to family dinners and functions...I don't to go to things alone anymore while everyone around me has a date and not just a date but in a serious relationship...in fact a few of my friends a getting married or/and living with someone... what is wrong with me? Why am I so sexually unattractive to the opposite sex? Why doesn't anyone want to be with me?

View related questions: never had a boyfriend, oral sex

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A female reader, babomi China +, writes (18 October 2008):

babomi agony auntsorry to say, but you must be sending wrong signals all over the place, i can t tell you which signals or why they re wrong, because i don t know you

but i recommend you to assess (from an outside perspective) your image : how you look, what you say to guys, your body language, what you expect from them ... and that you compare what your "more successful" friends do in the same situations

there are plenty of books and manuals that can help you more in detail, it s time to invest in them, and also, ask your (very good, honest, close) friends their opinion about it

don t expect to like all the answers, but you need to do that to get out of this one-way street

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A male reader, Passthrough United States +, writes (18 October 2008):

Passthrough agony auntSome guys like 'hot' girls, IE legs, tans, large chests, etc... Some guys (like me) like the cute girls, being deterred by the general unavailability and exclusion the 'attractive' and 'cool' people have imposed on them all throughout school :-P

You just have to stay out there and you'll find a guy who likes you for your ample cuteness and hopefully equally ample, open personality.

Being the pal isnt all that bad- I have it the same way. In high school and college, I had plenty of friends, and even now remain without a girlfriend. I'm maybe a bit nerdy, but I know nerds get girlfriends :-P I came to find out it was my friendliness and character which allowed people to go from potential directly into the friend zone.

In agreement with the previous post and my personal experience, you cant be a pal if you want to be a girlfriend. You need to make it aware (but dont come on too strong) that you're not looking just to be friends with everybody :-D

You can message me too, by the way!

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A female reader, treats United States +, writes (17 October 2008):

maybe you're doing something wrong when you were out with those guys that never really called you back. maybe you gave off a weird vibe because you were getting ahead of yourself -- like thinking "this is guna be my boyfriend soon" you should pace yourself. or maybe you're not looking in the right places. you seem nice =) be sociable but u have to remember it's nice to be a pal with guys. I'm like that too but when it comes to a guy u want to start talking to with a personal intention of being with in the near future -- you can't act like a "pal" you have to show him that you're girlfriend material. Need anymore help -- message me. =) good luck though!!

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