A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A girl first told my friends that she fancied me about six weeks ago but I decided that I wanted to get to know her properly first. We've kissed a few times when we've been out with a group of mates and I know that she still likes me. We see each other in and around work three or four times a week. In the past couple of days, I've tested the water. We text sporadically and I've become a bit more flirty in them but she seems to ignore the flirty aspects of the texts. Without asking her outright, I suggested we go on a date. But she always seems to want other people to come along. We're going to a theme park next week but again it won't be just the two of us. I don't want to make things awkward between us or scare her by saying how I really feel about her at this stage, but I'm rather puzzled as to why she doesn't want to spend time alone with me. And if she really does like me as she keeps telling my mates and not me, what should I think and more importantly, do? Thanks for any help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007): Maybe you're just too much work! Maybe you have alot of energy about everything and have a need to be "right" all the time. Maybe you exhaust her . . feeling she has to calm you down all the time. Maybe all your energy isn't about her or the two of you but your opinions about everyone else and what they are doing or saying. Or maybe you are positive and wonderful and give your undivided attention to the rest of the world . . . yet don't give your attention to HER when you're with her. That cell phone at your side . . . always need to make another phone call (and it really doesn't seem like a necessary conversation) Maybe the "intimacy" just the two of you talking and being together is just gone. She probably misses you but feels you aren't really with her when you are together.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): Ask her m8. realisticaly people who wont ask wont get. If she's telling your friends, she thinks she's telling you. She's ignoring the flirty aspects because she wants a move not a text. Trust me when i say the worst that could happen is she says no. I know this is like 4 months to late, but i feel for this situation and had to reply anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks people for your help. You know, I thought it was me that was nervous and, as she's slightly older than me and more experienced, it never crossed my mind that she might be nervous too. I just want to let her know that she doesn't have to do anything to impress me. I want to be with her but I will take my time. Thanks again all.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (1 June 2007):
 How old is this girl? Is she younger than you? There could be many reasons she feels nervous to be alone with you. Maybe she's never been out with a guy before? Maybe she's had a bad experience when dating? Maybe she's frightened that she clams up and won't know what to say to you? Maybe she's frightened you'll try it on and won't know how to handle it?
Just enjoy your time together, get to know her better and hold back on saying/texting anything to her that is too suggestive. In time she'll open up to you voluntarily and tell you why she feels the way she did. The main thing is that you make her feel comfortable in your company. Just enjoy being with her for now.
Eve
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A
female
reader, candy00s +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Perhaps she likes you so much that she feels nervous about spending time alone with you and is worried about what to say or do.
Get to know each other a bit better, when you go out to theme park suggest that you go out on a date just the two of you and see what she thinks.
It might be a group of you going but im sure you could do your own thing together for a bit?
xx
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