A
male
age
41-50,
*olfen
writes:I was on the phone with my girlfriend, she is out of the country for one month. We spoke on skype video (the image was very poor). she shuffled the laptop around, making lots of noises, then I would not understand half of the stuff she was saying because she was mumbling in a low voice, then when we end the conversation, she tells me "make a kiss in the air"... that is she wants me to give her a kiss towards the camera, then blow it towards her. You know what I mean??I'm a guy for crying out loud! It's not so bad but she often does things like that. Like she once offered me a glowing green fan so that I can "stay cool while I work". She tells me "I miss youuu" in a slow voice that sounds like a moan. She tells me she loves me like she says hello. Then one time we fought and she told me I acted like a girl (because I refused to wait for her on the road and said I'd join her at the mall). She said only girls do that. Granted I was a bit annoyed back then that she didnt call me and stuff like that, so I might not have the most virile behavior... she also got mad at me on new year's eve because I came about 1 hours late (maybe even a bit more) and she got almost hysterical in the car and threw her cell phone against the windshield and was screaming in anger at me... That made me feel humiliated. Also sometimes she touches me repetitively and I get mad because she does so. I remember once she was sitting on my lap and playing with my face...I always get mad and then feel like shit for getting mad, coz I dont like to see myself this way but it often gets to that, and I tell her what bothers me. I try and I try and I try. Half of our conversation are me trying to get something through to her. I dont know if I ever used the word "humiliating" though when telling her about these things.... I just noticed that.Anyway, what the hell is wrong here? Since the beginning I felt weird, humiliated I guess, and I was hoping it'll go away, and maybe she would gain confidence, but we're still stuck on the same stuff... I came here looking for an answer as to what is wrong with this stuff, and what should I do. But I already learned a bit by writing, but I'm not sure about anything, so what do you people think?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 September 2010):
 A Real man doesn't bend over backwards to please a girl or let her walk all over him. Teach her how to be a real woman.
A
male
reader, rolfen +, writes (15 September 2010):
rolfen is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks janniepeg, emasculating is a suitable word. One thing she said today is: A real man wouldnt allow himself to send a birthday car and let it arrive late. Emasculating... again. As you said maybe she dont know, maybe she just wants more attention and kindness from me, I'm sure I'm not perfect. I guess a real man is one who loves and cares for his girl. That's kinda new. But a "real woman" wouldnt say such things either, no?
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A
male
reader, jimrich  +, writes (14 September 2010):
You are in the same situation as most others -
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORK!
google: relationship tips and learn how.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (14 September 2010):
Most of the stuff would not bother people except when she threw her cell phone against the wind shield. I get the impression that she is acting like a little princess, sometimes silly, sometimes spoiled, but most of the time hard to please. There is a disconnect in the relationship so every little thing she does irritates you. It maybe that you don't think she admires you enough. When she said "only girls do that" that was insensitive. She didn't know how emasculating it was for you. Express your feelings towards her every time you feel bothered but don't forget to show appreciation when she does something positive. If you think the green fan is silly, don't tell her that, just be thankful she is so thoughtful. If she touches your face and you felt like she's petting you like a little puppy, thank her for touching you, but guide her hand somewhere else and tell her where you want to be touched and how. Don't tell her that this is what little girls do. The stuff you are talking about is your desire to be treated and respected like a mature man.
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