A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hey ladies,Any help will do. Well here it goes I was with my ex girlfriend for about a year and a half when all of a sudden she broke up with me for no reason at all. She changed her number on me and just vanished from my life. After about 2 months of no contect with her she called me one day and i was the happiest guy in the whole world. She has been coming in and out of my life for the last 7 months when she's in my life I have this sunshine about me that I'm always smiling.I have tried to walkaway many times but everytime she cries and promises me that this time will be different and i believe her.We met by accident i guess she was interested in one of my friends and we became close. To be honest with you she's way out of my leauge she's the most beautiful girl in the world and I'm well this chubby guy. She treats me real bad always yelling at me and blaming me 4 everything bad. Why does she come in and out of my life all the time? is maybe the way I look? or does she use that time away from me to look for someone like me but just alot better looking? I'm dying inside cause i treat her so good. Any advice will help thanx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): Well I trully sympathise with you, because I was in the same situation as you.I met this girl- really cute. She fell so hard for me.At first, she always came to my place to see me untill I also begun to fall for her to.She treated me so bad. She yelled at me. Married men would come pick her up in my presence.Thats how much she disrespected me. She was so emortionally unstable, but deep down I felt she needed me and am thats what keeps you around. In the end, she hurt me so bad by sleeping with some guy.. I fel to pieces.To cut the long story short, she came back, pleading after a year. I had no interest at first but sort of allowed just to be my friend. I realised that she hasnt changed at all. She almost messed it up for me with the new person I have since met, who I adore so much, and a million times better in every way. My advice, pluck the courage and tell her to leave you alone. She's wasting your time.She's will ruin it for you when you find that special person that is going to love you for who you are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): I do feel for you, and my heart goes out to you, I know it is not easy. The reason she treats you this way, hun and keep flitting in and out of your life--is because you allow it. You are behaving like a man who is grateful, happy that she has chosen you. What about her-she has this gem of a guy and she keeps causing him pain. You really, really need to believe in your right to have a happy, healthy relationship with a good, loving woman who treats you like the prince you are. I am sorry-I have to say, this woman is not the one for you. I think you are on a 'nowhere' track with this very inappropriate woman and I think you realize this. You are struggling to break away from an unhealthy relationship and it's hard for you. What you are going through is normal and many of us have been there.
My suggestion to you: Make a break from this woman, once and for all. Stop all means of contact. She is toxic to you. The only way through this is strength of mind, a healthy self esteem and believing in oneself enough to know that you can tolerate the discomfort of going it alone without her. Hun, there is no gain without the pain. You can do this, it's just a matter of understanding why you do it. You have to stop using this unhealthy relationship as a substitute for core fulfillment. You need time, alot of it to get through this. Distract yourself, develop yourself...get out and start living your life so you can face the 'fear' of losing her. The future quality of your life depends on how strong you are and how you face that fear. Your connection to her is plainly dragging you down..all it's doing is diminishing your self-worth, hun. You need to work on getting a 'sense of purpose' outside of a relationship, through doing great things in your life and not focusing on her. And when you do that...you will be amazed at what wonderful opportunities will come your way.
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A
female
reader, nicola79  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Dont put your self down sweety,she is just being horrible and sounds like she is using you when she is at a loose end. Dont be a door mat and tell her you are really fed up with the way she is treating you. Tell her to either buck her ideas up or you want nothing more to do with her.
You never know but while you are wasting your time with her,you could have met someone who loves you and will treat you right like you should be.
Come on now,tell her that you are moving on and so should she,dont let her know she rules you.
I do hope you do tell her this,you desearve better. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): It sounds to me as though you are letting her 'walk all over you'. You say that she is the most beautiful girl in the world, and you are (in your words) "well this chubby guy".Don't let her treat you like this, you deserve better! She seems to just want someone to bully and you are allowing her to do it. Go out there and find someone who deserves your kindness, and doesn't abuse it. Play her game and you'll be unhappy in the future. I don't think she cares enough about you to be a permanent item in your life. There's someone out there who is better for you.
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 She is treating you very badly. I doubt its anything to do with your size. She is using you until something better comes along and you are letting her away with it. You sound like a very kind person but you need to stop this now. You need to stand up and be counted and dont let anyone walk all over you the way she is. I would say she probably does like you but you are a convenience for her. Your kindness would be better spent on someone who deserves it and appreciates and loves you for who you are. Let her see you being strong and find someone else.
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