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Was this all innocent last year or do you think he was messing around?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2007)
A female , anonymous writes:

going out with my b/f for almost 2 years. In the summer (which was like 6 months of going out) when looking through his phone(which he was there with me so it was ok) i saw a dialed call to a girl to which i said who is this. He tells me an old friend. I ask more questions and then he said well can you really be friends with someone you haven't seen in so long. The next day i ask more questions and then he tells me he went out with this girl(an old friend??) He said he wanted to get serious but she wasn't able to( i am thinking religion) b/c when i asked him awhile ago again about it he said well even if she wanted to be with him it will never happen b/c she will never go against her family.

He also tells me oh she wasn't my g/f, just someone i ran around with. SO his story tends to change sometimes when i asked in the past. He told me i have nothing to worry about..when i said i dont feel comfortable with it, he said we used to go out, we dont anymore, we're friends.. he was kind of making it clear that he isnt going to stop talking to her.

I still didnt like it and made it clear. One night we are in his car and his phone rings--i can tell by his body language and the way he was talking that it was a girl and he said how are you, but also quickly said i just picked up my g/f after asking that(i dont know if that was a sign of he can't talk now) It was like like 9pm when she called--isnt that a little late? despite that--i asked him who it was and he said his friend jake..i really didnt believe him and he said look at his phone..i didn't but i still did not believe him.

New years eve comes and i see he gets a text from "jake" and we spent the weekend together..he had to go walk his friend's pet who was away..i decided to stay..later on i check his phone and he calls this "jake"..He never got to write back or call b/c i was there with him and i guess wanted to do it when i was not there b/c he knows i didnt like it.

i copy the number down and later find out..it was in fact this girl he went out with...i know this was a long time ago..now i am looking back on it i guess with a more clear head but just wondering what other people thought..do you think this was done so he wouldnt get in trouble for innocently speaking to an ex? Time has passed on and he got another text from her that was sent to other people as well this past NYE..but he says has not spoken to her since the last holiday and that i still dont have anything to worry about. He said, yes if she calls, he would answer and not brush her off completely but he isnt in contact with her as much as i thought he was...do you guys think it was innocent last year or he was messing around???

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A female reader, aunty t Ireland +, writes (8 March 2007):

aunty t agony auntI really dont think you have anything to worry about. You seem very jealous of this other girl he has told you on numerous occasions that you have nothing to worry about. But you keep on and on about it. Is this fair? He probably still likes this girl as a friend and I think he put the name jake in his phone to save your feelings as he knew how you would react. Jealousy is a terrible thing and can make you see things that arent really there. Give this guy a chance I think he really likes you but if you keep on about this you will push him away.

Good luck,Aunty t

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A female reader, Bella55 South Africa +, writes (8 March 2007):

does it really matter what happened last year? you cant break up with him if cheated on you last year. too much time has passed and if anything it looks like this girl has a crush on him, not the other way round. I think you should trust him, he seems like a nice guy who doesnt want to be rude to her, yet doesnt want you getting your doubts. if the phonecalls and sms carry on, demand it to stop. Besides he is with you isnt he?

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