A
female
age
36-40,
*mqtdimples143
writes:My boyfriend of 4 years recently told me he needed space. He just turned 25 and I am 21 close to 22. He has a roommate that wont allow me in the house when he is home which makes it difficult to spend time with him sometimes. Its been about a month and a half now and I am more confused then ever. He still invites me over a couple of times a week but we dont talk everyday like we used to and i feel like im not a part of his life anymore? Last weekend he told me the reason he needed space is because he thought i was being jealous of his roommate and he felt like i didnt want him to do anything or talk to anyone but me. He also said hes scared of taking the next step. We sometimes have a hard time communicating to each other, Im always scared that he'll get mad if i tell him how i feel about something and he just holds it all in...I just dont know what to do anymore. I know i want to spend the rest of my life with him but its killing me not to know how he feels and to know that he has a seperate life without me right now. I dont want to keep bringing the issue up to him but i almost feel like everytime we talk about I dont get any answers and i leave the conversation more confused then when it started. Please help me i dont know what to do?!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): (This is a brave plan but definatly work if you can keep it up, do want quick result and him eating out of your hand?)then theres only one thing do Hun, give him all the space he needs dont call txt him anything for weeks when he calls you be doing somthing else thats truly intrests you cut the conversation down to under 10 mintutes, and say somthing like "nice to hear from you babe Im just in the middle of.......(whatever you like)speek to you soon"This will intrgue him and pull him in. dont ask any comitment questions of him dont demand to talk or anythingabout your feelings let him think that your happy because thats power for you for you to have a seprate life tooyour not super humen no one is and somtimes over this break your going to think "I miss him" but if you do this you will never miss him again you'll get sick of how much he wants to be around you in fact,In fact really try and be happy pretend your single for a while and do lots of difrent things pamper yourself,look gorgous! as for his room mate, Just kill him with kindness if he's snotty he will feel awful because your being so nice,but its his problem and if you do this plan there will be no cause to say your being clingy to his room mate because you will be the compleate Opposite, and he will be nothing but committed to you,Good luck
A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You are both very young. I really think he does like you but wants to other things without you. This is very understandable and you should start doing things without him. It gives you space from each other and gives you other things to talk about when you are together. Are you worrying what he is getting up to when he is not with you? Maybe you are coming on a bit strong with him. I would play things a little cool with him if you want to spend the rest of your life with him you have to let him have time on his own to do what he wants to do. Often we get so tied up in relationships we neglect friends hobbies etc. I would try and do more fun things together and stay clear of the heavy conversations for the moment. Try and get some fun into the relationship and if he wants to do other stuff with his friends let him. He may feel things are getting too serious and he may be scared. You should try and do some other stuff too with your friends. If you are to be together you will but if you are coming on too heavy and serious he may well run a mile.Good luck.
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