A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My sister in law hates me. I got pregnant with my now fiances baby after 4 months of being together, it was unplanned, but we decided to keep her and we're still happy together over 2 years later, our Daughter is now 15 months. When I got pregnant my sister in law started hating me, saying I planned it to trap her brother and quit my uni course I was doing at the time. It was terrible, she made my whole pregnancy a nightmare. I lived with them for most of my pregnancy and we moved back there after university. During my whole pregnancy She ignored me, even while I was in the room and talking about the baby round her was a no go. What upset me more was that I felt that his family were allowing her to treat me this way and that his mum was allowing her her opinion at the expense of my reputation. I was so depressed that I put on 4 stone during my pregnancy and got very overweight. I suffered from post natal depression afterward too. I have since lost the weight but to this day I feel that I still have my guard up to his family, I still feel really hurt that they allowed her to treat me worse than an animal. I have never recieved an apology from anyone.I have since completed my course and my boyfriend proposed to me unexpectedly, so she has been proved wrong on all counts. She now talks to me when their mum is present, but not when she is absent. She says and does underhanded things to get at me and try and make me look bad in front of their family, But does so in a way where I cant point the finger and point out what shes trying to do. She now has moved out from the house where we all live, but she comes back all the time. Last night she purposely stayed at the house until I got back home from my part time job and parked in my space so I had to park down the road. Little pathetic things like that all the time.I cant talk to their mum about it as she doesnt like confrontation, and likes to pretend that its not happening. My partner listens to me and sees what she's doing, but doesnt like confrontation either.I cant stand the atmosphere anymore, and I just dont understand what her problem is! She disliked me for reasons that have proven to be totally false. I havent done anything to her whatsoever, so why does she insist on being such a cow to me?Thanks for reading and any advice greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000  +, writes (27 November 2010):
Wow, I had no idea she had to abort her first born. That is a bit rough. Still, I do not think she has the right to be mean with you just because you got to bring your child and she did not. She should be happy for you both. I mean, you guys are practically family now and she needs to leg go of all these negative feelings.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Hi Im the poster, following up my post.
Firstly thanks for the replies, some really good advice. My sister in law has her own house with her long term boyfriend of 7 years... no engagement yet though. I guess she could be jealous of this, but then she hated me before we got engaged.
It seems strange that she would be jealous of me as she is a tall leggy good looking blonde with an enviable lifestyle as she is so spoilt!
One thing I didnt mention is that she got pregnant when she was 21 (same age as me) but chose to abort the baby because she couldnt face her mum about it, and because she didnt want a child at that time. I've considered that she might be upset that their mum didnt make more of a big deal about it, his mum was really supportive of us. So maybe she dealt out what she felt I deserved... to be ostracized.
I have considered this... but her neice is 15 months old now, I've proved her wrong about all the things she was saying.. I just thought whatever it was she would have gotten over it. But I think this must be it. Its gone on for so long now it would she out of the blue to bring it up now. I tried to bring it up with his mum once in an email and she just completely ignored it. Their mum doesnt know anything about her abortion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Hi
Join the club...i have a sis out-law and it was all about her jealousy. Six years down the line nothing has changed and the family rift she caused was massive. I would stay well away from her, if she is hell bent on causing trouble one day her true colours will show. Don't even waste your breath just always be happy and civil.
Spunky monkey.
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A
female
reader, 0000BraveHeart0000 +, writes (25 November 2010):
I can honestly say that your sister in law really hates you! i always thought that mother in laws gave the most trouble. i think that your sister in law may be jealous of you. think about it does she have a house, fiance or children? she is sees that you are getting all of these things plus you went to uni and it bothers her big time.
i think that you should confront her and let her know what she has put you through especially during the pregnancy. no pregnant woman should have to go through that, it can have devastating results you know. i think that your mother in law loves you and it is obvious your fiance loves you as well but they need to have a talk with the sister in law because she seems to have many issues. right now i would advice you to ignore her and try the best you can to live life cause you only have one. as long as your mother in law and fiance love you, you are well loved but they need to talk to her asap!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 Is she in a relationship and have children? If not then it sounds to me like she is jelous of what you and her brother had, when she found out you were pregnant it made things worse because she wants a baby and she is acting out on you now because you have what she wants, a child, a family and a commitment.
Of course that doesnt excuse her treatment towards you, not at all but i think you need to talk to her one on one, dont leave it up to your boyfriend or his mother this is your issue to deal with, they dont owe you an apology none of them do except for his sister she is the one that has mis treated you not them just remember that.
Next time you see her ask her can you both have a private chat. Hopefully she agrees and you can work on things. Tell her that you dont want this atmosphere hanging over you or your daughter tell her that you want to start things from fresh and try and get on for the family sake, ask her why she feels that she needs to treat you this way, and tell her that you would like you and her to try and get on if not for the family then especially your daughter. Tell her your daughter needs her auntie in her life and you dont want any fighting or petty behaviour. Goodluck.
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